Happy Birthday Drew - You're 4 !!!! Nov. 24th

I can't believe it's been 4 years ago that Mommy had her car crash and you had to come as an emergency C-section. WOW time sure flies and now you are the sweetest little guy. I love you so much and am so very thankful you love me back. If Mommy were here instead of Heaven she would love you up real good but you will have to be satisfied with all of us loving you up instead. Always remember how much she loves you and that she is so proud of you. You will forever be "her man". Jesus has such great plans for you Drew. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and everything about you is exactly what our Good Lord Jesus intended so that He can use you in all the many ways He has planned for you. Drew you are a gift and I love you so very much. Happy Birthday big guy.

xoxoxo

under the glass bowl

So some of YOU asked what is that under the glass bowl. It's a killing monster - a lizard!
The picture is symbolic to me, although quit dumb to everyone else I'm sure. You see the day that I took that picture I actually captured that beast myself. To know me is to know that any time there is a monster in my house I toss a bowl on top of it so that my dear heroic husband will know that he must protect his families lives and destroy whatever might be under the bowls. Such bravery should be rewarded. O wait it is he gets me!!!!!!! Now one more thing I can not find a word in Webster's to describe how I feel about the dreaded monster known to others as the lizard. Just typing that word makes me have a little something come up in my mouth. Don't say gross, you wanted to know what was under the glass bowl................ This day i was in the middle of walking through a very difficult trial. I awoke, prayed God's armor on and put my feet to the ground. Walked through the dining room to see IT - there IT was under my table surely planning his attack of eating my head off. UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! I must have been on auto pilot because I went in the kitchen grabbed a large glass bowl. Not sure why I didn't use the big giant Tupperware bowls that i always use but anyway I stepped towards it - O YES I DID - You should have seen me the bravery was astounding. I came within about 1 foot of the killing machine and dropped the bowl on it. VICTORY - I"M A ROCK STAR !!!! I slayed the beast - ok at least trapped it. But he was now going down - death would surely be in the near future for this one once the Gladiator man of the house came home. Okay fine he may have only been 4 inches at best ( if Bobby measured him) but i will tell you he was 35 feet long and I trapped him. So the heroin went about her morning. Now the disturbing part of this is when you use a glass bowl, you have this high need to look at it. Brushing my teeth - wait go peak on the monster. Sitting outside doing my study - go check on the monster. making Aaron's protein shake - stop midway and check the lockness nelly. You get he picture I was obsessed with looking at this thing that i was terrified of. Then it hit me. why do I keep looking at the very thing that I'm terrified of. it can't get me. it can't get out of the bowl. I'm free from it. Why give it this power over me of obsessing about it and still being afraid - IT WILL NOT KILL ME. I was giving this thing way to much power over me. God is there He will never allow anything to come across my path that He hasn't put there and if I trust Him than what's up with this fear thing. I was now good to go tackle whatever God was surely going to bring across my path that day. ........i never got to see how the Gladiator got rid of that monster but he did and even in that it's pretty profound as to when we get the right perspective the thing of fear seems to just disappear.

YOU ASKED

Twilight Review

so first let me say that I am 1000% NOT endorsing this movie / book at all. I am going to post the below review because I think it is one of the best out there that does not take a side. It clearly gives all of the facts. Trust me the facts alone should make you have clarity on this subject. So why post it if I am already not for this movie? the answer is because I really want you to read it. The review that is. To ask God what He thinks? Is this entertaining the World? Does it give a little bit of glamore to the whole under world of Goth / Vampires? Do you even know that it is a very real and growing pod that is worshiping Satan? If I accept this at what point will I say "no more"? is there even a point that I will ever even say no more, or have we truly gotten to the place that our tolerance will destroy us? Is it weird that one might see or read Twilight and actually root for these two to "hookup" sexually - don't even get me off on that road of immorality? a million questions I could post before showing the review but for now I pray you will read and allow the Lord to open the eyes of your hearts to truth and not to be lead into deception by the "great con artist"


I'd never given much thought to how I would die."
So begins one of the most resonant love stories to touch teen culture in quite some time. Love, found in a world filled with terrifying monsters in the moonlight. Love, found at a strange high school in a tiny, rainy town that Bella Swan did not want to live in. Love, found by a cold-blooded vampire who didn't think he would ever feel warmth again. Love, found by both of them to be intoxicating to the point of creating near giddy insanity.
Bella moves to Forks, Wash., to live with her dad after her divorced mother remarries. She thinks of it as an exile. Certainly she doesn't think anything good will come of it. She's from Phoenix, and she hate the cold and rain. She's a high school junior, so she doesn't relish the idea of starting over at a new school. She's uncertain about her relationship with her dad.
But she fits in better than she anticipates. Or at least she thinks she does until she meets Edward Cullen. Butterflies start circling in her stomach the moment she sees him, but all he does is glare at her. It might take a while to smooth out the bumps, but Bella's determined to make it work with her white-faced dreamboat.
So determined, it turns out, that even when she learns that he's a bloodsucking vampire, she's unwavering in her newfound infatuation. "You don't scare me," she tells him repeatedly, almost as if she's trying to convince herself along with him.
Her resolve is continually tested as she learns that it's all he can do to resist the desire to kill her, as she meets his intimidating family of vampires, and as she becomes the target of a nomadic "tracker" vamp, who's decided she's the endgame of an eternal lifetime. But love is love, she figures, no matter the risk. And therein lies the heart and soul of Twilight—exhibited in both grand and shocking ways.
Family is a big part of what nurtures Twilight's love. Edward's coven—family—of vampires is a loving one. Each member is committed to protecting the others, even Bella when she becomes part of them through her relationship with Edward.
The Swans, while more fragmented, still show a great deal of cohesion demonstrated through selflessness. Dad opens his arms and home to Bella after years of separation. Uncomfortable at first, Bella tries to give him a fair shake when she arrives. And she does everything in her power to make sure that when her life is threatened, Dad doesn't become collateral damage.
Superlatively, Bella willingly offers herself as a sacrifice meant to save her mom's life. She narrates, "Dying in the place of someone I loved seemed like a good way to go."
Accepting, for a moment, the idea that vampires can exist in a fantasy world and that they are capable of making "moral" choices within the framework of their predetermined natures, it would be fair to say that the Cullen clan's choice to avoid killing humans is ... positive. Edward explains to Bella that they are "vegetarians," meaning that they have learned to survive on the blood of animals. Beyond being grateful that she's not going to be devoured mere moments after falling in love for the first time in her life, Bella interprets this as them being "good" vampires who have struggled, some for centuries, to renounce their evil inclinations.
So within the context of a monster mash such as this, we can see a reflection of the Christian calling to put away the old man of sin and embrace the new one—a path that while straight and narrow, is certainly more difficult to walk.
Edward and Bella don't talk about it much, but it is intimated that despite their ability to choose good over evil, Edward considers himself and all other vampires to be eternally damned, and he resists mightily the idea of allowing Bella to descend into the abyss that he finds himself submerged in. She doesn't care a whit about that. She's eager to become a "cold one" if only it means she will be with her beau forever.
Edward can read minds. His sister, Alice, sees visions of the future.
Clearly tempted to go farther, Edward wrenches himself away from Bella after they begin kissing. (Before he does so, they embrace, eagerly lock lips and slowly lower themselves onto her bed.) There's a pro-abstinence message in his decision to disengage, but it's muddied by a couple of facts: 1) He's avoiding sexual contact because he knows it will cause him to want to kill her, not because he believes the contact itself would be immoral in any way. 2) He says he's been in the habit of sneaking into her window at night and watching her sleep. And once he admits that to her—and she doesn't run screaming, calling him a creepy stalker—he proceeds to spend the night with her in her bed (clothed, but cuddling).
Dialogue dips into the sexual arena when Edward tells Bella what people at a restaurant are thinking about. He grins, looking around the room and saying, "Money, sex, money, sex, cat." Mom asks Bella if she's "being safe." There's a quick joke about a swim team's padded Speedos.
Girls at school wear tops that expose a bit of cleavage. And prom dresses—Bella's included—reveal even more.
The first question a colleague asked me when I returned to the office after seeing Twilight was, "Were there any gory vampire bites shown in the movie?" It's a fair question, and it probably mirrors what a whole host of parents began wondering the moment after a whole host of Kaitlins and Ashleys started begging to go see it.
The answer is yes.
In flashback, we watch Carlisle "create" Edward by biting down into his neck. There's no blood visible in this "transformation," but there is in other vampire attacks. Bella's hand is slashed in a fight with the tracker vamp, and he ultimately bites her, too. This takes place in the midst of a frenetic battle that starts with just Bella and the tracker, and ends up a full-scale melee involving Edward, Jasper and Alice. The tracker's head is twisted nearly off (onscreen) before he's disassembled and burned in a fire (mostly offscreen or out of focus).
Bella is hurled across a room; she slams into a mirrored wall. The tracker breaks her leg by stomping on it. When Edward tears into the rival vampire, they all but destroy the building they're in, blasting through floors, walls, windows, etc.
When Bella does a bit of Web research on the "cold ones," we watch over her shoulder as she sees drawings and cinematic images of bloody killings. We see flashes from contemporary vampire assaults, too; these hint at the violence that transpires rather than fully expose it.
To save Bella's life, Edward sucks her blood from the puncture wound the tracker inflicted, drawing the venom back out of her. And it's not the only time she's in danger: When the Cullens first meet the tracker, they square off in threatening, animalistic crouches to defend her. When a careening van veers toward Bella, Edward stops it with his hand. And when a small group of ne'er-do-wells accosts Bella in an alleyway, she's crowded and threatened before Edward swoops to the rescue. (To his credit, he resists the urge to kill the men.)
In a sequence used to illustrate a lie told about how Bella got hurt, we see her tumble down stairs and smash through a large window.
One exclamatory use of "h---." "Oh my god" is interjected a handful of times. There's a line about a "butt-crack Santa."
Bella's dad downs beer on several occasions. In one scene we see him pile two six-packs onto a friend's lap. Edward refers to Bella as his "own personal brand of heroin."
To protect his vampiric identity, Edward has cultivated the fine art of lying. Bored with safe driving rules, he speeds and executes fancy—difficult and dangerous for us mere mortals—quick-turn tricks.
In a ploy to try to protect him from the vampires, Bella reluctantly, yet intentionally, wounds her father with words her mother used when they divorced.
There are two kinds of people who will watch Twilight: Those who have read the books ... and those who haven't. The two groups will see a very different movie. The latter will casually make its way through a romance-obsessed vampire yarn involving a human high school girl and a 17-year-old vampire who's actually over 100. The former will observe the very same romance, but layer onto it the entire story arc that unfolds through the four Stephenie Meyer novels that have birthed this movie franchise.
That makes it difficult to write just a movie review about a movie that isn't just a movie, but rather part of tall tale that doesn't end at twilight, or even the dark of night. It goes beyond into the realm of the eternal—something not really hinted at onscreen ... yet.
I'll give you an example of how Twilight neophytes and Twi-hards, as they're starting to be called online, will react differently as the film unspools: When Jacob shows up for the first time, he's ostensibly a minor character who, along with his wheelchair-bound dad, is delivering an old truck that Bella's father bought for her. OK, fine, right? No big deal. But when he first peeks his head onto the screen, a portion of the audience—primarily female, for the record—is likely to erupt with squeals of delight. They certainly did at the advance screening I attended. Why? Because Jacob eventually becomes A) Bella's best non-Edward friend, B) a shapeshifting wolf and C) a hunk.
Fans of the books clearly weren't there to just see a movie. They were there to experience the thrill of "meeting" their favorite characters in all their huge, big-screen glory. This says a lot about how much impact Meyer's story is having. Readers—and now moviegoers—are soaking in everything she's written, taking it to heart and wearing it, quite literally, on their sleeves.
One Twilight T-shirt being sold (and which I saw at the movie) proclaims, "Forbidden Fruit Tastes the Best." And that's certainly one of the film's underlying themes. This isn't about me beating up Twilight for being about vampires, though. There are positives in it that bear repeating: The Cullens refuse to be party to murder even when it's their "nature" to kill and feed off humans. Edward consistently controls his own blood lust around his classmates and especially around Bella. He cares for her. He protects her. Bella offers up her life for her mom.
But there's enough negative undercurrent even in this first outing (the books get darker as they progress, so presumably the movies will follow) to justify some pretty serious conversations afterwards for those families that decide to defer their better judgment—which would normally push vampire flicks out of bounds—and go ahead and go with the flow and see the show. The positivity of Edward and Bella's abstinence needs to be tempered with a discussion about what's so very wrong with them "sleeping" together and him sneaking into her room. His resistance to turning her into a vamp must be contrasted with her desperate desire to become one. Her obvious love for her father needs to be stacked up next to her willingness to deceive him both when his life depends on it and when it just suits her romantic desires.
Bella finds herself inexorably drawn to the "bad boy," and she does little to resist. She calls herself a "stupid lamb" (and there's already a T-shirt out there that splashes the phrase across its front), refusing to wise up for fear that clarity might mean her heart will be broken. Indeed, she waves away Edward's objections as if they were just annoying mosquitoes buzzing around her head.
We know that he doesn't want to hurt her. But she doesn't.
There's an important life lesson lurking in Bella's obstinance. But don't look for Twilight to unpack it for you. It's too dizzy from breathing in the heady fragrance of heedless and headstrong young love.

so tell me what you think - don't worry I'll never be offended if you post your real opinion and I disagree - I'll just pray for you ;0)

remember to keep chasing righteousness!!!

so this is what bobby does at retreat with pastor maury and david hocking

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY AND GRANDPA

Not that my Daddy would ever see this post I am still compelled to wish him a Happy Birthday and thank him for being the greatest Daddy ever. I love you Daddy! Kiss Mom for me and tell her that I love her.

Faith

the life of Aaron

Paintball is what this is. All over his body and he and his Dad do this by choice. I'm completely sure that this is some form of child abuse.

Handsom man - he wanted to wear a tie for Donna's memorial.

Get up in the morning and snuggle on the couch with Geoffrey. Sweetie babies!!!

So Now What?

First, I praise God for the victories that we did have:
Thank You Jesus for Prop 8 winning YES - there are others ut this one was a biggie for me.

2nd - I praise God for the disappointments:
Praise You Jesus that You see that it is better for Your ultimate plan for us in America for Obama to be our President. You see it all from beginning to end and in that I trust You and know that You still are working a good plan.

Just a thought - If this decision is going to bring the Christian community back to church, back to praying, back to fearing God then of course this is the better decision. We need to always remember, God's ways are not our ways. We seek comfort and easy life.( even though we won't admit that) He desires bended knees and prostrate hearts at any cost. So I'll ask you the very hard question - Did it work? if not I wonder what it will take for God to get His people to have bended knees and prostrate hearts.

VOTE!!!!!

if you are 18 or older, an American citizen, are not in jail, or you are not on probation from a felony ( i think that's what it is) - GO VOTE

You see I live by this rule that you do not EVER get to have an opinion about politics or how the United States is or isn't dealing with something, if you don't vote, you don't get to have an opinion. Harsh you may say. Okay you're right but it's truth.

Now I would sit here and tell you that you need to be voting for McCain and not Obama and the many truthful reason why but I'm sure you have already decided where you will place your vote and nothing I say will change that.

One little thing - if Obama is our next President at the end of this day and you picked him, please just don't sit around over the next 4 years and act surprised when the change he talks about is not what you thought it would be. There has been much well documented information of who this man is. Yes much of the Internet forwards have been false, you only need to check snopes.com to see what is tru and what is not however, so has much of the ones regarding Palin and McCain.
okay I can't close this without a few questions:
health care reform - so what happens to the millions of unemployed high payed medical professionals? what jobs can they go get? where do they live when their homes are repo'd? What does it really look like to have the govt dictate our health care? they've done such a great job with everything else they've controlled (that was sarcasm).
More rights for Gays - first let me say I have some dear friends that I love very much that live this lifestyle however - the Word of God is abundantly clear here - besides, good grief this is a sexual orientation not a race of people - so what's next my neighbor being able to marry his dog? sound stupid? okay it is, that's the point. Truth is my heart breaks for those that find themselves in this confusion in their heads of what they want sexually. This will be unpopular but I'll say it anyways - DENY THE FLESH - as just about perfect as my wonderful husband is I'm not foolish to think that he has never looked at another women in the past 19 years and maybe even for if just but a moment thought something. So should he have the right to act on that desire? yes he has free will, we all do, God gives it to us but that doesn't mean it's what's best. There is consequence to sin. No my husband would deny his flesh. Self Control. Please know that I only used my husband as an example because if I would have used yours you would have really been mad. ;0)
maybe a more simple way to think of it is having an over hormonal teenager who you are teaching to deny the flesh and stay pure - same thing ya'll.

The War - this is a loaded one - I will make this very very brief - I will watch. How stupid would either of these men be to show our enemies our complete poker hand and give a time frame of when we will move out. People please we don't need to know everything because if we know it so does our enemy. Have you ever thought about how secretive our enemies are?????

If you have lasted with this post all the way through you will be so very blessed because I have saved the very best for last.

God Is Sovereign STILL!!!!

doing the wrong thing

So this is supposed to help me process or in our new word ‘percolate’. Most of this won’t make sense to you all so you might just want to skip it and just go to one of the other blogs that people actually sound sane.
So this grieving thing is really confusing. Things that should make me cry don’t and things that seem like nothing do. It seems like every time I need to have a melt down, there before me is a huge opportunity to minister to someone. Truth is in the moment I feel at peace and full of joy and know that I am honored to still be used by God. Well today was no different except that the end result was well not sure I know an appropriate word for it. Today was our Leader’s ministry teams annual picture. I was really struggling with this one. How can I take a picture with out Donna? You see her and I often had, let’s call them conversations regarding the picture. Stupid conversations that made us crack up. I had all this anxiety about the picture (missing Donna). SO I had this fantastic idea that I would leave as soon as 2nd service worship was over and no one would see me leave and I would easily just be another gal that couldn’t make it. So I was sneaking out and I ran to potty real quick. There was a HUGE need, a sweet beautiful servant from children’s ministry crying really really hard. I helped her to the CM office so that I could love on her and pray for her. An hour later my window of opportunity was gone. When I came out of the office many of my favorite faces were there waiting for the team picture. Feeling like I was about to emotionally breakdown crying I knew I couldn't have them be there for me as they were just about to have their picture done, I chose to leave abruptly. What could I do, I couldn’t sit there and fall apart – nor could I pull myself together. I know I would disappoint Lori in leaving like I did but good grief there was no right answer. I needed to get to my home to fall apart alone. To find my Jesus in all these tears.
I needed to read the story of Miriam’s death and how Moses couldn’t grieve because there was ministry to do. Something like that I knew of the story. I just knew that I seemed to identify with Moses in this and I wanted to see what God was trying to speak to my heart about.
Numbers 20.
So there it was Miriam’s death and nothing else mentioned about it. Moses was instantly thrown into the needs of others. However, I noticed that this time in his meeting the needs of the children of Israel his methods were fleshlier and he put his self in with the category of God. The Word says
Num 20:9-11
So Moses took the rod from before the LORD, just as He had commanded him; 10 and Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly before the rock. And he said to them, "Listen now, you rebels; shall we bring forth water for you out of this rock?" 11 Then Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod; and water came forth abundantly, and the congregation and their beasts drank.
We know the end result was that because he did what he should not have done; God did not permit him to go into the promise land. But I was thinking what happened to Moses? Why did he lump himself in with God? Why did he strike the rock when he was told to speak to it? And I began to see it because I can see in myself this selfishness of wanting to grieve my way and yet every turn I make there is yet another need to be met. Why can’t I trust my Lord with this process? Trusting that He is saving me from myself, knowing the dark place I could go to if left to my own means and that these opportunities are actually me living out everything that I have ever studied and have been so blessed by in the Word. If I but chose this road with God I will have grieved in the way God can use best in my life. Today I failed. But confession to God and out here in cyber space I have made. Forgive me Lord Jesus for thinking I know best.

Yes A Trash Can

a willing participant - half way

so my sis tagged me on this thing - 7 weird things about me - well seeing that i not so long ago posted 100 things about me this is not going to be easy - i'm sure she is trying to either cheer me up or get me to confess some thing to the whole cyber world.
Here you go!
1. i really do smell bobby's head everyday - it's absolutely yummie!!!
2. i really do think he should have been an ear model - no doubt this was how perfect adams were when God created him.
3. he really does randomly give me chunks of money just because ( well actually because pastor bob said it from the pulpit about 12 years ago)
4. he really does see the good in everyone, he has this ability to see the beauty in how God created each person - i'm sure i ever want to be that good ;0)
5. his integrity really is impeccable
6. he really does eat cherry pop tarts heated up with butter and american cheese almost everyday
7. he really does take a weeks vacation to come work VBS at church so that he can serve and when i say serve i mean from 7am - 4pm if not later everyday with a cheerful heart. he always gains about 35 wives that week. can you picture 35 women bossing one faithful kind heart man around.

SO HOW'S THAT FOR DEFLECTION !!!!!!!

it worked :0)

???????????????????????????????????????????

There are a million things I want to write yet can't figure out where to start. Do I share my heart in my side of this friendship in cancer journey for almost 4 years? Do I share how I have been blessed to see the fruit of many hours of prayers between Donna and I come to fruition over the past 2 weeks. Do I share how God has cared even about my little hearts desires and have blessed me beyond measure? Do I share how I still pick up the phone to call her when I'm leaving church or when the late night hours come? Do I share how much it hurts and I wish tomorrow when I wake up that this would have all been but a dream? Do I share from my eyes view what I saw yesterday at the memorial service? Do I share my concerns for the kids because my faith is weak? Do I share how much I hate having to serve without her? Do I share that I'm sick of being in a fish bowl? Do I share how much I want everyone to stop asking me how I am? I'm standing - I'm missing my friend - I hurt real bad - I just want to talk to her but I don't want to be one of those people that talk to the earthly dead, it's to weird to me because I see it as wrong - but to just talk to her one more time would be so great - Do I share how proud I am of her and how she ran her race - what to share? maybe not anything as someone would surely call the men in white jackets to come take me away for a bit - wait a minute that might not be such a bad thing...........until tomorrow...........

Live Life!!!

My Girl doing what she did best. Living life and enjoying every moment that came her way, even through the pain. Hold on to those gifts and laugh a little today. My Girl always did.

Goodbye 'Super Chica' See you later!

My Gift has been recieved into the healing faithful Hands of our Jesus. October 16th at 1:50am Peace like no other is yours permanently. I love you and am forever a better me because of you. We clocked thousand and thousands of phone hours, 'crime fighting'. Walked hundreds of miles at the 'land'. Our connection was instantly at the heart, spirit, and mind. I will never correct another person who calls me Donna. Remember how we would laugh about that as if chemo had added 20 inches to you ;0) ( i had to get one last short stab at you). how did we ever get stuck doing this project. lol ....okay you got stuck literally!
in the Word - some of our greatest God revelations came from studying together. Thank you for always making me walk it...... being a doer and not a hearer. I love that we were drinking water in this picture. All our recent conversations about drinking water. We can thank Lori Eggenburg for the beginning of that revelation.
teaching our babies - thank you for 5 years of schooling with me - you kept me focused and believed in my boy like no one else.

I love you and will miss you so very much.

Thank you for fighting to the very end - for showing me what it really means to endure and to finish well. I love you

just a few pix of my boy at the beach

back for a minute

Gosh I miss blogging - I really wanted to take a fast min. to post that I'm here. Life is incredibly challenging right now, so I can't really justify spending time blogging, but every now and then I get a moment to ck some of you out. Thank you for all your prayers - I sure need them. I feel them - Honestly the peace that I have 96% of the time can only come from my Jesus because His people are praying. So thank you all so very much. Some of you know what I am walking through with my dearest sweetest friend and you understand the need to be respectful and discrete. Thank you for understanding. Someday though I will share, I will shout it from the mountain top. So be looking for that post. A few other things my Lord finds necessary to allow in my life right now:
My son, Aaron has a heart condition - sinus tachycardia - ( everyday he has an episode)but apparently a little extra water will help this just fine. If you know me you know that my son is that one area that I constantly have to re give back to the Lord because I keep taking him back. So understandably God needs to grow me here.

My Dog "Geoffrey" has just spent the last 2 days in the hospital - He has pancreatitis - well for those of you who are not into pets I know that it means nothing to you but this family loves their "Geoffrey"

okay this is sounding like I'm complain so I'm gonna stop. I don't want this to sound that way. I know that somehow in all that is going on I will prayerfully come out pruned and ready to bear much fruit. God is good all the time!!!! I am blessed to be loved by Him and blessed to have so many people in my life that will keep me tight in prayer - what more could any one ever ask for - don't bother trying to think of something there is no answer ;0)

keep chasing righteousness - it matters!!!

my new catch phrase - you're gonna love this
BEING EDITED

Consider it all Joy

So out of love and respect for privacy I must be vague during a time that I want to pour out my heart and be honest and beg for prayer. I will still beg for that prayer. I am walking a most difficult road with a dear sweet friend. Circumstances that only our Father in Heaven can work in. I know those are the best kind. Those are the real growing kind. But right now it hurts, in fact it down right sucks. But this is what I know. I love and serve the God of the Universe who spoke it into existence. The God who conquered death on a cross because He loves me and you, a God who parted the seas, turned water to wine, healed the dead, and made man from the dust of the Earth. This is a Mighty God I serve. So tonight I call upon God My God and ask Him to do what only He can do and walk in the faith that He can and will.

James 1:2-4
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
And let endurance have {its} perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

my prayer is that I will trust whatever God's answer is, that I will see it as his perfect result.

sorry if non of this makes sense it has been a very difficult few days and sleep has not been an option

by the way.........
My God is still on the Throne!!!

Happy 100th Post to me!!

WOW it’s been great. Blogging has become something I really enjoy doing. I’ve met some amazing people along the way and have stayed connected to some of my very favorite people in the whole wide world through it.
So it looks like this will be 100 things you might not know about me. Truth is if you read this blog you basically know me pretty well but let’s get started. Sorry god’s girl if it doesn’t stay short and sweet. The order will be all over the place so don’t try to read into the order ;0)

- I was born in Pennsylvania
-Never knew my bio-dad -he left my mom and i
-I have 4 or 5 siblings that I don’t know. Not even sure if I ever met them. - they belong to my bio dad
-I have lived in Tennessee
-I have lived in Montana
-I have lived 80% of my life here in Cali
-I am terribly shy – YES I AM it’s my list!!!
-I love to have my toes popped – my husband is grossed out by feet so he won’t do it for me:0(
-I get hurt by people who chose to stay in their wrong way of life and won’t choose the harder more freeing way with Jesus.
-I really did believe I would lose the 72lbs I gained during pregnancy. WHATEVER! – yes you read that right 72
-I met my husband while cocktailing. – o how God redeems
-I pray over my husband and son every single day

-I already have my eye on a little girl that I believe could grow up and win the heart of my son. He doesn’t have a clue and we are going to keep it that way.
-I was kicked out of my house when I was 15 and still went to school and got a scholarship.
-I am so very quiet and calm in my home.
-I read all the time.
-I love watching my son do anything – okay not throw a fit!
-I hate to drive and only got my drivers license because I got a ticket the first day of college parking my friend’s car.
-I really do still get butterflies in my belly when Bobby walks in the room after being gone.
-I really do believe I have the bestest husband in the whole world.
-I often go shopping and get bored and put all the stuff back. – Tammy understands that one.
-I miss my family all the time and chose to disconnect because it’s better than being sad. yes I’m aware that this is not true but let me live in my place of denial.
-I went to college for 6 years and never graduated.
-I love vinegar
-I hate candy
-I love chocolate
-I get nauseated after chewing gum for anything longer than 15 min. started during pregnancy 11years ago and never left.
-If the base boards in my bathroom are cleaned than I believe my house is cleaned – regardless of how the rest of the house looks.
-I love TV – Lost, SO You Think You Can Dance, Idol, are my favs.
-I tape the first 25 min. of the View everyday – I love the debates.
-I have emailed the View more times than I should ever admit – arguing my point of view – I think they should have me on there as a reg. guest host.
-I believe if you do not vote than you never ever ever have permission to have an opinion.
-I bang my leg almost all night long – due to RLS
-I am an amazing choreographer in my head.
-I love to cook but have a family that does not like to eat. No it’s not because of my cookin’
-I make my dog Geoffrey’s food for him. It’s completely the healthiest and is a ¼ of the price.If you want the recipe I’ll give it to you.
-I am energized by people. I could be completely out of it and I get on the phone or see a friend and within minutes I’m going 100mph.
-I love to laugh and believe that I am funny.
-My husband does not think I am funny
-My husband is wrong!!! – One of maybe 2 faults he actually has.
-I never wanted only 1 child.
-I wasn’t supposed to be able to have kids. – Thank you Jesus for proving them wrong.
-I have been healed a couple of times in big ways by the Lord.
A serious liver condition
Surgery to remove my dead ovary - at pre-op they saw it was perfectly healthy –surgery cancelled.
PRAISE TO MY JEHOVAH RAPHA
-I never read rhyming books to Aaron – one of the reasons he is not a strong reader.
-I have a hitch hiking toe – just ask god’s girl.
-I was once a very good softball player
-I was once a good high diver
-I played the accordion – not for very long but I played - it may have been 1 or 2 practices
-I am a world class jacks player – okay maybe not so much anymore
-I really do not have a favorite color – I love them ALL
-I have not drank soda for 1 ½ years
-I never liked white baby dolls when I was little – I wanted black ones and they were not easy to come by way back then.
-I wanted to marry Michael Jackson (back when he was black) (The Wall)
-I have always been a huge U2 fan. Bono was my white boy rock star crush
-I was and still am Daddy’s little girl!!!!!!!!!!!
-I love shopping on HSN & QVC
-I love great quality 500 count sheets
-I love love love sheep – I collect them but let me tell you it is very hard to find ones that do not look like cartoon characters. What is the problem in the Christian Biz world that they can’t make sheep??????????
-God speaks to me all the time in the everyday sort of things – here is the silly way today. I bought some Lysol, new scent – okay it stinks to high heaven – so gross - I was frustrated because I knew I couldn’t take it back – it still will do the same great job that my other scent does. Then He said “just like the difficult person in your life right now. She will be used by Me to the same effectiveness as you”
-When I’m at a concert – I’m rocking out like I’m 16 again – just ask Steph – no one hit it harder than her and I at TobyMac
-My heart breaks that Bobby’s family doesn’t have any idea how completely amazing he is.
-At Starbucks I only buy Venti passion tea / no water added / 2 splenda / shaken.
-My favorite way to eat a bagel is: Poppy seed toasted well butter cream cheese and Dijon mustard
-My favorite meat is swordfish!!!!! Grilled with lots of garlic butter and lemon
-Favorite veggie – this one is hard I love so many but I enjoy a large artichoke boiled in chix broth / then cut in half, broiled with butter, peppercorn. Dipped in mayo, Dijon, peppercorn dip.
-favorite dessert – cheese cake with anything on it
-Favorite Woman Bible Teacher is Margaret Ashmore - she is so anointed
-Favorite Man Bible teacher – this one is hard – it changes a lot – I would have to say it’s a toss up between Jon Coursen and James McDonald
-If I could only go to one concert for the rest of my life I would pick Jeremy Camp
-My favorite Book of the Bible is Nehemiah
-I sleep with a fan, even when it’s cold
-I will be voting for McCain – even thought I believe he just ended any chance of wining with his choice of VP. I do not believe that the American Republican Party will be able to see Sarah Palin as a viable president. If something were to happen to McCain. It’s a great thing our Lord is SOVEREIGN!
-my drivers license state that I am 140lbs HAHAHHAHAH ROTFL HAHAHAHAHAH
-My Favorite season is Fall
-My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving
-I believe I make the best turkey in the world. The secret is packing real butter and herbs under all the skin.
-making this list took me a long time
-I love to sit back and watch people interact with each other. (be that fly on the wall)
-Every time I get in an airplane I assume that I just might die.
-When I talk on the phone I am so productive cleaning my house.
-I have very vivid memories as early as 3 yrs old.
-If there is a mess anywhere in my home it can only belong to me, both my boys are neat freaks and I haven’t ever had to pick up after them – did you just grunt???
-I set Bobby up all the time to fill my gas tank up – of course he knows but I have fun being all apologetic about it.
-If someone was to pay for me to go anywhere right now – I would choose Alabama to see my sis – I really miss her.
-if I could have one plastic surgery I would chose my girls to be put where the good Lord intended for them to be – bobby would never ever ever allow it so I guess they get to stay in South Beach the rest of their lives.
-I love to crochet and I make scarves for people and pray for them while making the scarf. “wrapped in prayer”
-I do not like flower scented lotions, perfumes or candles.
-I can not wear perfume – it all turns to smelling like bug spray on me.
-I work for my church staffing the janitorial
-I serve on a leadership team for our churches home school group
-I serve on a leadership team for children’s ministry
-I serve because I can’t imagine not getting to do things for my Jesus
-Having to learn true forgiveness without being apologized to is one of the greatest trials my Lord has used to draw me so very close to His heart and to teach me the power of breaking free of bondage – so regardless of how horrific the situation was I praise My Jesus continually for using it greatly in my life.
-I love to pray to go to that place of God showing me what’s on His heart.
-I could live in flip flops forever
-I am so very gray - thank you Jesus for steph who keeps me blond, red, brown and any other color we decide to mix in.
-I love my Geoffrey so much – I never thought I could love a dog this much – thank you steph
-I am a Steeler fan
-I am a Red Sox fan cause it makes aaron mad ;0)
-I am a Suns fan


If you made it this far – sorry not so interesting – I never could get on a role – it was hard

can you name them?

My Sweepstakes winners

the man in the back is actually Reggie Jackson

no the girl in the middle is not me - she's the prize presenter

doggie heaven

so this is our very old friend Larry - he was visiting us for 5 days - he is the sweetest old dog ever and we sure enjoyed having him - now Geoffrey on the other hand - we'll let's just say the two of them had to set some strong boundaries for one another - it's was pretty funny - Larry's the kind of dog where you can almost see the think bubbles above his head - you know what i mean :0)

aaron and geoffrey doing what they do best - aren't they sweet!

a visit to az

they really do like each other - silly little things
this really says it all - i so love these kids
dancing so this is josh at his basketball game - actually this is josh playing basketball - notice the hands - this is what he did the entire game and could care less what anyone wanted him to do - at least we don't have to worry about him being a follower hehehe
with his team

Inductive Study - what and how

Let me preface this by saying this is my way. Not the only way. I am at all not the authority or expert on this at all. I just know what I have grown to love and what works for me.

Inductive Bible Study For Life Application.
This is a way of studying the Word of God verse by verse looking at what God is speaking to your heart and getting application and coming up with practical steps for yourself so you can grow in that area God is speaking to you about. Other studies are awesome and used greatly by God, are typically, of course, being written with the authors learning style and their own ‘rabbit trials’. Please know that I think other studies are good and absolutely of God. This is just what currently works best in my life.
I typically don’t use commentaries unless I am completely stumped then I will use one as a spring board to prompt a thought in my head. I believe that commentaries are great tools. The reason I don’t use them much is because I get lazy, that’s all. I like looking up words in the original language this always brings a deeper understanding of what God is saying. So the great news is there really isn’t a wrong answer, except if you come up with some heresy ;0).

Here are the 3 step:
Step 1
Getting Started. Get your Bible and find a comfortable, quiet place to read. Always begin your Bible reading by praying and asking God to calm your heart, focus your thoughts and ask God to help you see what He has for you in His Word. I will often even ask God to speak to me about something I am specifically seeking Him on at the time.

‘Open my eyes to see the wonderful truths in Your Law’ – Psalm 119:18

The first day read the entire Chapter so you are seeing it in context.
It is always best to read the passage 2-3 times.

Briefly describe in your own words what you have read. Think about if you were sitting with a friend and telling them what you read, what would you say?
Or you can simply write the verses as you see it word per word ( this is currently how I am doing it) from your Bible. If while you are writing something seems to stir in you with one of those hhuummm moments then highlight it. That is possibly God getting ready to speak to you. You will go back later and look at the very thing you highlighted.

Step 2
Observation – What do I see? (Spiritual lesson)
Read the verses and write what you see. – Who? What? When? Where? Is there a command? Is there a promise? Is there a correction? Who is mentioned and what are they doing? What is happening now to the character? How do the main characters respond to their situation? Is this a response that honors God or dishonors God?

Step 3
Application – How does it apply to me? Does this show me how I should act? How I should not act? How will I apply it to my life? It’s good to write the steps you will take to accomplish what God is putting on your heart. Often we are seeing something that needs to be changed in us and the best way to do that is by writing practical steps in accomplishing that change.



That’s it, that’s all there really is to it.

We all process differently and there is no right or wrong. I get off on rabbit trails. I might see a word that stirs me and I’ll go off on a whole study on that word.

Others can see the simplicity of the lesson and are moved by it. Remember it’s all about learning styles - not one getting more than the other / better or worse. I have been in studies for many years seeing women become defeated because some of us fill up 2 pages for 1 simple truth. They may have 3-4 sentences for the exact same thing. This is learning processing style. Please don’t let the enemy rip you off thinking anything differently. He is a LIER!!!

I pray you all will pray about incorporating this in to your walk with Jesus. I promise you will never ever regret it. There are many thing s that Inductive has brought to my walk but one I will share is the ability to give an account for the things I do or don’t do . To be able to tell people how God through His Word guides me in the things I do in my life has kept me from going down wrong paths many times. Not that they were wrong. They just were not what He was calling me to. The feeling of knowing that the God of the universe has taken the time to speak to my heart about anything is humbling and complete joy all rolled into one.
Sorry so long you can see this is very dear to my heart.

I will post an example later.

Keep chasing righteousness!!!

perspective - we all need a little this day

this is really good - i bet you can't help but be thankful by the end of this :0)


Dear Ann Landers: I hope you will print something a friend in Australia sent me.I think it's perfect to run on Thanksgiving. -- Bee in Fairfax, Va.
Dear Bee: Please send my best wishes and warm thanks to your friend in Australia. Here's the thoughtful piece she sent:
Things to Be Thankful For
· Be thankful for the clothes that fit a little too snug, because it means you have enough to eat.
· Be thankful for the mess you clean up after a party, because it means you have been surrounded by friends.
· Be thankful for the taxes you pay, because it means you're employed.
· Be thankful that your lawn needs mowing and your windows need fixing, because it means you have a home.
· Be thankful for your heating bill, because it means you are warm.
· Be thankful for the laundry, because it means you have clothes to wear.
· Be thankful for the space you find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means you can walk.
· Be thankful for the lady who sings off-key behind you in church, because it means you can hear.
· Be thankful when people complain about the government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
· Be thankful for the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means you're alive.

7 more

so i see i have only 7 more post to make that big 100 mark - i guess i better start thinking of what that post might be - so let me ask you what would you like to read on my 100 post. Don't be shy please give me your advice - i just might take your challenge

back to school

So today was the first day back to school. For most of you Moms you rejoice at this time. Well, for me a homeschooling Mom not so much. It amazes me that even after 5 years of home schooling it's still not my cup of tea. I love the planning but the actual teaching , not really my thing. I suppose it sure doesn't help that Aaron really could care a less about learning. This in and of it's self is very painful for me. We all want our children' to be brilliant and to apply themselves. Well, that's not my son. I know it's in there, in him, I see it. We just haven't watched it gorw yet. I am thankful that he will do the work. He's just not really interested. Before you comment, yes I can see the pattern here between him and I, I'm no dummy. Well enough of what seems like the negative. The truth is I am so very thankful that I have this choice to school my son this way. I have amazing support. Most importantly I have the Lord telling me that for now this is His choice for Aaron. So this is what we do. I won't go into all the reason for that because trust me you really do not want to hear them. I'm being obedient to my Lord and thanking my husband for his support. Some days are good days and some not at all. But tonight in closing I pray that this will be the year that Aaron gets a spark for learning but no matter what this year entails I know who is in charge and in whom my trust is so guess what
I'M A WINNER!!!!!!

you may not want to read this - just letting you know up front

Proud people focus on the failures of others.Broken people are overwhelmed with a sense of their own spiritual need.
Proud people have a critical, fault-finding spirit; they look at everyone else’s faults with a microscope but their own with a telescope.Broken people are compassionate; they can forgive much because they know how much they have been forgiven.
Proud people are self-righteous; they look down on others.Broken people esteem all others better than themselves.
Proud people have an independent, self-sufficient spirit.Broken people have a dependent spirit; they recognize their need for others.
Proud people have to prove that they are right.Broken people are willing to yield the right to be right.
Proud people claim rights; they have a demanding spirit.Broken people yield their rights; they have a meek spirit.
Proud people are self-protective of their time, their rights, and their reputation.Broken people are self-denying.
Proud people desire to be served.Broken people are motivated to serve others.
Proud people desire to be a success.Broken people are motivated to be faithful and to make others a success.
Proud people desire self-advancement.Broken people desire to promote others.
Proud people have a drive to be recognized and appreciated.Broken people have a sense of their own unworthiness; they are thrilled that God would use them at all.
Proud people are wounded when others are promoted and they are overlooked.Broken people are eager for others to get the credit; they rejoice when others are lifted up.
Proud people have a subconscious feeling, “This ministry/church is privileged to have me and my gifts”; they think of what they can do for God.Broken people’s heart attitude is, “I don’t deserve to have a part in any ministry”; they know that they have nothing to offer God except the life of Jesus flowing through their broken lives.
Proud people feel confident in how much they know.Broken people are humbled by how very much they have to learn.
Proud people are self-conscious.Broken people are not concerned with self at all.
Proud people keep others at arms’ length.Broken people are willing to risk getting close to others and to take risks of loving intimately.
Proud people are quick to blame others.Broken people accept personal responsibility and can see where they are wrong in a situation.
Proud people are unapproachable or defensive when criticized.Broken people receive criticism with a humble, open spirit.
Proud people are concerned with being respectable, with what others think; they work to protect their own image and reputation.Broken people are concerned with being real; what matters to them is not what others think but what God knows; they are willing to die to their own reputation.
Proud people find it difficult to share their spiritual need with others.Broken people are willing to be open and transparent with others as God directs.
Proud people want to be sure that no one finds out when they have sinned; their instinct is to cover up.Broken people, once broken, don’t care who knows or who finds out; they are willing to be exposed because they have nothing to lose.
Proud people have a hard time saying, “I was wrong; will you please forgive me?”Broken people are quick to admit failure and to seek forgiveness when necessary.
Proud people tend to deal in generalities when confessing sin.Broken people are able to acknowledge specifics when confessing their sin.
Proud people are concerned about the consequences of their sin.Broken people are grieved over the cause, the root of their sin.
Proud people are remorseful over their sin, sorry that they got found out or caught.Broken people are truly, genuinely repentant over their sin, evidenced in the fact that they forsake that sin.
Proud people wait for the other to come and ask forgiveness when there is a misunderstanding or conflict in a relationship.Broken people take the initiative to be reconciled when there is misunderstanding or conflict in relationships; they race to the cross; they see if they can get there first, no matter how wrong the other may have been.
Proud people compare themselves with others and feel worthy of honor.Broken people compare themselves to the holiness of God and feel a desperate need for His mercy.
Proud people are blind to their true heart condition.Broken people walk in the light.
Proud people don’t think they have anything to repent of.Broken people realize they have need of a continual heart attitude of repentance.
Proud people don’t think they need revival, but they are sure that everyone else does.Broken people continually sense their need for a fresh encounter with God and for a fresh filling of His Holy Spirit.

© Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. www.ReviveOurHearts.com Info@ReviveOurHearts.com

21- day prayer and fast

our church continually does the 21 day prayer and fast, each time with a different focus - i received this email from a very dear friend that i am in leadership with:

Hi Ladies,

Prayer Ministries is planning another 21 Days starting this Sunday, 8/17 through Saturday, 9/06. If you’re not familiar with 21 Days, it’s a call to commit to pray and fast for 21 Days with a specific theme in mind.

The theme for this 21 Days will be New Life and Growth in Christ.

The verse for the focus: “I am the vine, you are the branches; He that abides in me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5

Please pray about joining me for 21 Days. If you have not yet experienced the incredible intimacy with the Lord that comes through fasting and prayer, you will be in for a real blessing. The Enemy does not want people to know the power of fasting and prayer!

Fasting means denying our flesh, so pray about what God would want you to give up. He usually shows me very clearly the areas my flesh is struggling with. It might be food, or the computer, or sweets, or sleep, or even complaining words! It might be a combination of things. Ask the Lord, and He will be faithful to show you.

I would also encourage you to start out with a specific prayer list in mind. List specific people, situations, marriages, etc. to pray over the 21 Days. The New Life theme and verse fits every situation in such a beautiful way.

If you’re up for the challenge or have questions, please email me and let me know. What a blessing it will be to encourage one another and hold each other accountable.

so i knew the Lord was calling me to this - as i've talked about before this is an area that most of us are pretty immature in - my simple take on this is that it is one of the most powerful offensive weapons we have over the enemy and it is an 'of course' as to why he keeps us blinded to the power of it - and yet time and time again we are showed examples of prayer and fasting in the word, not to mention the command to do it !- - okay, so anyway i am of course being compelled to join this 21 day prayer & fast - i decided to post my response so as to prayerfully keep me more accountable.

I know God is calling me to this, so yes i'm in - i know that i will be fasting from: eating past 7pm - this is a huge sacrifice for me that has many fleshly issues, physical and emotional, wrapped up in it - it was the first thing that came to mind - the 2nd thing i believe i need to fast from is a behavior of feeding in to the negative of what tear people down that are being negative - let me try to explain: sitting in the office and someone walks in all fired up and nasty attitude a bit over the top - how easy it is to be annoyed and buy into the sess pool of Satan's deception, instead of seeing the situation as Jesus would - they are hurting, frustrated, overwhelmed with something else more personal in their life and they need us to come along side of them and extend grace and love - give them that cup of water - it's so easy when we are busy about our work to buy into the lies - we take things personally when most of the time it has nothing to do with us - i am so very thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes to this ugly thing and has shown me my own fault in participating - how i want this purged from my life - yuck that was vulnerable!

remember - keep chasing righteousness!!! - susan

maybe if anyone reads this post they too might be compelled by the Lord to start their own 21 day prayer & fast - don't think you're getting off so easy ;0)