Thinking back a month ago when I was really moved in my heart with this verse and thought process. I sent this email to a friend and now sitting here this morning in a moment of praise to my sweet Jesus I realized that what He gave me then was exactly what I would need to draw my strength from today in this test and trial of my life. I am just so blessed and filled with joy in how He is so faithful to prepare us beyond our understanding in the  before moments for what's to come around the corner. Thank you Lord.

Psalm 135:5-6 

⁵For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
⁶ Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.

I got to thinking with this truth that our Lord, our Savior, our Father does whatever He pleases to do. He allows all things for His pleasure. Hard to wrap our minds around that thought when the difficult, impossible things come our way. yes we read and desperately try to believe that He allows / causes all things for good for those that love Him. I get that He has the blimps perspective on the Rose parade sort of speak. From beginning to the end He sees it. We see just the float that just passed us by, the one in front of us, and the front of the one coming our way. However, He sees the entire parade happening at the same time. Anyway, I got to thinking that if He does/ allows things because it pleases Him then it should please me as well. If it’s what he wants then it SHOULD be what I want. So why the often struggle in my heart. Romans 12 tells us the will of God is good and acceptable and perfect. We want to believe this and surrender to this  but our flesh rages war against this truth. I concluded all I know how to do and all I know to tell anyone else is to take it to the cross. Unsurrendered hearts need to be broken at the cross, tears need to be shed, and the brokenness of a doubting heart needs to be left at the cross. Repentance of the sin so the healing can come is where this all needs to start. Not once in our life but every time it comes – we need to take it to the cross. Will we ever be perfected in this. I really don’t know if that will happen here on earth, pretty much doubt it but what I do know is it happens for moments at a time but a lifestyle of this  not so sure, as I’ve yet to be able to say it is true of me – SO take it to the cross is what I will continue to do.

So in conclusion of this time spent with the Lord with this whole thought process. I will purpose to see what looks hard to me and impossible in my mind, as my Jesus doing what He pleases in my life because and trusting that He comes from a heart of pure untainted love towards me.

So today this moment I rejoice in the difficulties of my life.

here i am

Good grief - how is it that 2 months have come and gone since I've been here. I can see that i have lots of reading to catch up on with some of my favorite blog sites that I visit as well. So let's catch up:
MY 5K: yes yes yes I did it  - unbelievable at that time to see that I set a goal of 36min and made it in 34.11  - I learned something amazing that day, ok a few things but the most important thing was NEVER NEVER NEVER commit to anything within the first few hours after running a race with success. Shoot I would have said yes to anything I was so flying high on endorphins - lol  - Now to look back 2 months ago and think how far I have come since then I am shocked. Saturday I ran my farthest distances 7miles yep that's right 7. Training for a half marathon in October (13.2miles). What a crazy ride this has been - so many friends from church have jumped on board with this crazy goal - but what a joy to finally feel as if I am truly taking care of God's temple / my body in the right way. No more line in the sand for me - I am a runner !!
Running has become this crazy therapy thing for me. Realizing I have so many mental blocks in my head from  my past and all my insecurities and running has become the unexpected vehicle that my sweet Lord is using to heal me from so many things. Better late than NEVER  - so here I am 45yrs old and saying yes to the Lord in so many things - things that I have secretly so longed to be used by Him with and just felt way to presumptuous in it all. Life is changing and I never know what the days will bring but to wake up everyday and say, ' Jesus what are you up to today and may I please play a part in bringing glory to Your name',  - and this all started with a 30second run that just about killed me.... on to something else......
So Aaron is going to school this year for the first time ever!!! 8th grade - now this is about to change our lives in some very complicated way but long story short once God dealt with me in my pride in not wanting him to go, I was left with the wisdom that if this the challenge of school is going to be the vehicle that the Lord uses to bring about strength of character, then how can I say that it's not good enough. Will he drowned - maybe. Could he fail - possible. Will he make bad choices - yes. But these will all be on him and he will need to figure this out. We will be the loving home that will support him while he struggles. We will be there to pray and wipe his tears.We will be the constant source of love and the things of Jesus while he finds his way in school. I guess this might not make sense to you as the reader but to give you the history is just way to much writing and you may have already checked out my now. Anyway, my son is going to school and we will be on our knees.
FOOTBALL: so just to make sure that our life is just that much more complicated this year Aaron is playing football for the first time. Placentia Steeler!!!!!! now this is one happy mom that all her Steeler stuff will get plenty of use this year - lol  The irony is that we are a house divided Daddy is Broncos all the way. Mom, Steelers ( I'm a Rain for goodness sakes ! ) and well Aaron sides with all things Daddy NEVER NEVER Mom. So to see my son with Steelers uniform - lol O the joy!!!!!! NOW will he prove to be any good - time will tell and i am sure there will be many post along the way. He is his daddy's son however so somehow I'm sure he will find himself with a lot of great ability out there - But i can still out run them both!!!

to be continued later.....