Saturday, December 15, 2012

Happy Birthday Aaron

How I wish I was more dedicated to writing here on this blog. Seems like I always set out to do better and yet well...... just doesn't happen. My Baby just turned 15. CRAZY!!!! just doesn't seem possible. My beautiful little smiley boy is pretty much a man. It might be 5 days late on here but Happy Birthday Aaron. You are loved.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Freshman Football - my new life!!!!   IMG_1164

and so it begins.................

Thursday, August 16, 2012

A love note from Jesus!!!!

Maybe you can't see it but ooooooo how I could and it gave me the greatest heart smile I have had in awhile. This summer has come and just about gone with many different strong emotions. So many changes. So many endings and many new beginnings that have required me to take that step out on the Jordan not having a clue what I was getting myself in. Only trusting that it was God's plan and He wouldn't let me drown. Often times feeling alone yet not lonely. Last night as I finally after a long crazy day of drop off pick ups, I sat down and ask the Lord,' I know you love me Lord but tonight I just need that gentle reminder that you do and that you are in all these crazy decisions I have been making". I look out my window and this is what I saw. Can you see it, can you see the heart He made for me? He even painted it extra pretty last night. Love love love that He colors outside the lines - His way of reminding me that all these outside of box things in my life right now are by His hand. Talk about a giant heart smile that felt like I would burst with love. Pretty great that's who my Jesus is!!!!
I am the most blessed girl in the World - well at least I'm gonna believe that. 
Go have a blessed day and look for you love letter from Jesus - I bet He gives you one. And don't forget to share!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

He Would Beg To Differ on the Date - lol

So today or Tomorrow more like it JULY 15th  is 23years that I have been with this man I get to call my husband!!!
Bobby I love you, I adore you, I respect you, and need you like crazy. I am determined in the 23rd year to finally have you see just what a hysterically funny woman you married. I love how you allow me to make my mistakes. I love how you allow me to serve my Jesus. I love how I have never cleaned up after you except for the bathroom mirror. BTW what's up with that anyway??? When I hear other gals talk about socks left on the floor and shoes in the most peculiar of places. I wonder did these gals forget to wait for the guys who comes off that perfect Island. So sad for them but O so PERFECT for me. I love how kind you are to everyone, even the people that I don't want to be kind to. I recently was sharing with some friends how for years i was worried you were one of those people who was like a ticking time bombs AND AT ANY MOMENT YOU WERE GOING TO BLOW. Okay after 23years I am officially going to stop waiting for the explosion. You seriously are that patient, kind and gentle. Good grief when will you rub some of that off on me!!! I love how you serve my Jesus ok ok OUR Jesus. Never a no comes out of your mouth unless you are in a different state. AND THE CRAZIEST part of all you have such joy and love the whole time doing it. NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.  I love how you can sit there and think of NOTHING!!!!! REALLY how???? please teach me how. Now what I don't like so much is how my family likes you more than me. Good grief!!
Well I guess it pretty much comes down to this......
It's Bobby's World and I get to live in it - better yet I get to be married to the Bobby - Woot Woot!!!!
Forever Your Girl!!!!

Monday, June 18, 2012

New Season

So I really want to get back to this. Today is the official start to our Summer and the spoiled lazy days of my life are officially gone. I THINK I BETTER GO TO THE BEACH AND SIT FOR 4 HOURS AND WAVE THEM GOODBYE ! ;o)

Aaron has graduated Jr. High. I had no idea how my heart would rip out at that ceremony. So many mixed emotions. I was on the verge of the obnoxious ugly cry at any given second. Became crazy hard to get my mind off of the ceremony so that I wouldn't. 1st year in school and what a crazy ride it has been. He acclimated more than well and before I knew it his whole life became his friends and school. So blessed by Tuffree Jr. High - seriously a gift and answer to SSSSOOOO many prayers we have had over the years. As much of an academic struggle school is for him he still pulled off honor roll status all year. That was probably the most unexpected gift of the year. So now Summer before High School. Wednesday starts basketball camp for High School and in 3 weeks Football camp. We are so in it!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

I so need to catch up here but until I get that time this says MUCH

Butt Prints In The Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
"But Lord they are too big for feet."
"My child," He said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."
"You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know.
So I got tired, I got fed up,
and there I dropped you on your butt."
"Because in life, there comes a time,
when one must fight, and one must climb.
When one must rise and take a stand,
or leave their butt prints in the sand."

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I DID IT !!!!!

So this morning I could have slept in a couple extra hours - I never get that any more however, the Lord saw better to get me up at 4:30am and get me about my day. I am really learning to go with these gentle nudges of His guidance. Learning that there is always some unexpected sweet blessing when I am obedient. So up at 4:30am, showered, coffee made, reading my weekly Psalms / Proverbs and now sitting here thinking I need to get on this blog more. Like I said before I spend most my time on the private blog that I just tend to forget this one. So what's been going on.........let me tell ya!!!
i ran my first 1/2 marathon !!!!!
yep I did, Sunday I was blessed to run in my friends, Michelle's place at the Tinkerbell Race at Disneyland 1/2 Marathon.
Unbelievable - to think 1 year ago come next Wednesday I started this crazy idea that I was going to be a runner or at least to do a 5k. Started "Couch to 5K"  and that first 60 second jog I new i was going to see my Jesus. Everything hurtful, horrible was only my experience for so so long on this road of running. Having gotten the word diligent at leader's retreat just days before that, I knew the Lord wasn't letting me off the hook. In some way I just figured if I did die running then at least people would remember me by at least trying. SSSSSSooooooooooo..... fast forward a few days shy of 1 yr and I am running 13.1 miles with 11,000 people.
So how was it you may be asking well let me sum it up this way:
Wonderful / Dreadful
Fun / Painful
Determined to quit / Diligent to not
Hot Hot Hot - dreadful hot!
The things the Lord had me deal with out on the street surrounding Disneyland was not pleasant at all. Only got honestly a few moments of enjoyment along that path and saying that I am sure I am exaggerating to the better - as I don't have to many memories of them. But having streets lined with people / bands / cheerleaders kept me going. It felt like a cloud of witnesses cheering me on. How surprised I was that all those thousands of people came out to cheer this 45yr old  woman on in her first half marathon. Yes I  know that all those racers think they were there for them but I know it was for me. OF COURSE IT WAS FOR ME!!!!!
A couple of months prior I had learned this amazing lesson through running that sometimes the entire run will SUCK but you need to finish get to the end - the blessings come rushing in after it is done. So spiritually profound in our trails that come our way. A lesson well learned out on the riverbed that morning, now here I am living it with 13.1 miles not 3 miles. Dreadful couldn't believe this was going to be my path for this race, yet the very day prior when a friend text me with such excitement that I was running, I told her I wanted to burst into tears I was feeling conflicted. It was hard to explain to her and she was thinking I was scared but that wasn't it. Looking back now I see that deep down I knew I was going to get out there and God was going to use it to strengthen me in ways that wouldn't be fun. Boy am I learning the really good learning curves are the really deep down ones that really cost something.
So how did I do - I finished and that is part one of the victory. AND I wasn't last.
9,000 out of 11,000 finished the race and in the 9,000 I was 44% or maybe it was 41% one of those honestly can't remember. 2hours 47 minutes. Seriously not bad when I think of the extra walk time I had to take to get my breathing under control those last few miles, the potty break and picture ops that couldn't go un-missed. Seriously I just kept thinking if I could only be under 3 hours then I can be proud of what I have done so to think but really figured it was more like 3 1/2 hours. So 2:47 was a happy surprised for sure.
So maybe I am going to lose 2-4 toenails as a result of this race ( yes gross ). But worth it!!
Thank you to my friend Michelle Tebbe who allowed me to run in her place. I know it had to be hard for her not to be there but I pray she is blessed like crazy for this gift she gave to me.
Isn't it funny I can call something that was so difficult a gift......hhhhmmmmm interesting!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My 14 year old

17 years With this Man in Marriage!!!

Today marks 17 years of marriage with the love of my life, Bobby Ray Richardson.
Now total we have been 23 years together WOW that is more years than we have been alive. CRAZY where does all that time go. If you know Bobby then you know how utterly crazy blessed I am that this girl snagged him and got to keep him. He still takes my breath away when he comes in a room. The sound of his voice makes my heart laugh. The morning kiss on my nose gives my happy bumps on my arms. SURE I could make you all know he isn't perfect and share the things that make me bonkers, but the last time I did that God took me on a journey of change in my own heart and let me tell you I am going through it enough with other circumstances so NOPE not gettin' anything out of this mouth. lol.
Truth is he is pretty stinkin' great and the best part of all is how he loves Jesus and people. he takes the things of God with such ease and simple solid faith. me I take the complicated route always. He believes the best in everyone - I can't even get that to sense in my head. He forgives without even batting an eye, I wade through layers of complicated justification to get to forgiveness. He goes through life in complete abandonment in his endeavors not ever considering that people are watching him or feeling insecure. Me I crumble at the thought that anyone is ever looking at me - it keeps me paralyzed in steppin' out ( yes i am working on this but it is everything against my grain ). he looks at every opportunity to help ANYONE as a gift. I AVOID. He loves any and all social settings - they freak me out!!!
O how very opposite we are - people always say opposites attract and indeed they do but what I can say as solid wisdom after all these years is that I believe that is how God intends for it to be because that is where the biggest growth will come if we surrender to it's process.
It is sort of like our journey with the Lord  - O how opposite we are with Him. Yet if we stay in it and allow the challenges to come and not avoid them to strip self and gain Him we fall into a more beautiful union with Him.
Marriage really is just like this  - at least my story is.
I love you Bobby I'm the princess of the land having roped you.
Yes i am not in denial that i roped you - poor guy you didn't have a chance getting away from me - lol

I love you beautiful man!!!!

Friday, January 13, 2012

I never Get here anymore

Maybe not the best way to come back after a long hiatus form this blog BUT .......
I never seem to get to blogging here anymore. I guess for a few reasons:
 - I am doing a private blog with some gals, so i blog there. It's so great we are reading one of my very favorite books, "The Privilege" - by Kay Smith. We are using it as a tool to keep us in the sanctification process that the Lord has laid out for us.
 - Things i would want to blog about here might be a little to private - of course i would have no problem writing the things but i know that some may not like hearing what I have to say. SO YOU SAY 'since when has that ever stopped me before' LOL yep you're right NEVER. I guess I feel as if somethings have been a little more misunderstood then normal lately so i have wanted to be responsible. I don't know maybe it's just I'm tired of everyone being so stinkin' upset with me all the time.
DO you know how tired i am of people saying or implying how difficult it is to be my friend. Lately I have seen that it is mainly because people DO NOT like to deal in truth. Everyone comes to the table of confrontation with the #1 rule of self preservation and the fine art of doing it under the umbrella of spirituality.  Well me for one I'm  TTTTiiiiiiRRRRRRRReeeeeDDDDD of that. No real work really gets done and everyone leaves the table full of more delusion then when they arrive. I just can't do that and well there in lies the conflict that people have being my friend. I need progress - I don't want to live in delusion. I don't want to continue preserving self. I want to live allowing the Lord to deal with my deception and my junk and cleaning it up - I want to be of better service to Him and all that He is up to for each day. I can't bare the thought of self delusion - scares me!!!!
I can only imagine how crazy this all sounds as the hearer of this post. I'm really just venting this all out here and you have the honor of wading through the yuck of it. I just had this conversation on the phone so it is all just fresh and a bit hot in my head right now.
Every time you have a conversation with someone and you sit there thinking how crazy wrong their thinking is - if you do not speak up in love and give a different perspective, but you allow them to leave the conversation thinking you are on board with their thinking ( because they will believe that if you don't speak up )  - then i ask you how responsible are you in what might come next in their actions with that thinking or even their next conversation and putting your name into it as a way to validate it even more.
So you see being silent is way more tragic then the difficulty of speaking up.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

There is HOPE

Sitting here this morning with my coffee and my Jesus and just really realizing how much hope we have. So many hard, seemingly impossibly things we all have going on these days AND YET THERE IS HOPE. I was drinking my coffee looking at my Christmas tree, with it's light on, looking at all the ornaments and thinking of all the memorize attached to each and every one. I couldn't help but smile and think of this tree and all that it represents in my life, and then A TREE that my sweet Jesus died on to give me life, to give me hope! The combination of the two things my memorize and my Jesus, I got to thinking do i seriously think all of that stops now in my life, NO WAY !!! . He is with me, His presence is ever so near. Psalms constantly speaks of hoping in Him and His presence being near. So why the trepidation I asked myself. 
SO today I walk in this truth, with all it's challenges and turmoil and I will know that He is near and I will purpose to say in all things to come, "BUT I HAVE HOPE BECAUSE JESUS IS HERE WITH ME'
Some how I believe this is going to be a pretty great day!

Monday, August 29, 2011

Did Something Fun The Other Day

Last week I woke up and the name of Jesus was just resonating in my head.You gotta love times like that.  So I got this fun idea to challenge myself to say "Jesus" out loud 100 times that day. Okay not sure if I did 100 or 1000 because I honestly didn't count but what I did do was seriously have Jesus on my mind ALL DAY LONG and o what fun and joy that was. Some things that stand out from that day. I couldn't say "Jesus" without smiling  - you know the kind of smile that just feels so stinkin good. Going to the store was a hysterical adventure. Here i am saying "Jesus" out loud and noticing that people around me starring at me. It made me laugh so I said it again "Jesus" buy this time i figure they are wondering why is she saying Jesus. When I said it again I realized WOW I have these people thinking  about Jesus how great is this. I was so amusing myself and thought even if they think I have turrets they will surely tell this story to someone today and once again the name of Jesus will be said out loud again and again. So as my day progressed and I realized the influence I had by simply saying "Jesus", it made me think why have I never done this before. Aaron asked me , "mom you have said Jesus a lot today why?" I said, "why not?" then he looked at me in that my mom is crazy look and said, "ok mom you win say Jesus all you want". I just laughed.
I bet you want to say it  - go ahead just say it loud!!!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

good morning

Up at 5am to get ready for some running and walking - off to Tri-City to get in a couple of miles before Susan shows up for our Friday 3 mile fast walk. Praising the Lord for the 60degree August morning. Put in a couple fast miles before hearing from Susan that she wasn't gonna make it - O DID I SAY FAST - YES STUPID FAST. Sad to not have that sweet time of chatting with my friend but decided to use the time to put some intervals in. YUCK those stink!!!!
Back home by 6:30 to make some perfect coffee - you know what I mean by perfect: strong Colombian roast w/ SF vanilla / Carmel, w/ heavy cream. O my goodness it's so good this morning. Even now as I sit here on my back porch it's still only 62 degrees.
I was reading a devotion this morning about Joseph and his trial was in believing God's Word. Here is a piece of that devotion:
God had revealed to Joseph through dreams that he would be given great authority that he would use for God's glory. His brothers would bow before him and he would be a great deliverer of many people. I do not believe any of this was an ego trip for Joseph. His heart was so set on God that this word gave him a humble sense of destiny: "Lord, you have put your hand on me to have a part in your great, eternal plan.” Joseph was blessed just by knowing he would play an important role in bringing God's will to pass! But the circumstances in Joseph's life were just the opposite of what God had put in his heart. He was the servant—he had to bow! How could he believe that he would one day deliver multitudes when he was a slave himself? He must have thought, "This doesn't make sense. How could God be ordering my steps into prison, into oblivion? God said I was going to be blessed but he didn't tell me this was going to happen!"........
So I got to thinking about my life and the things that i know that i know God has shown / spoke to me about my life. I have with lifted hands and heart said, ' Yes Lord to everything that's in Your heart for me' - yet over time the fire in my belly seems to smolder out because things quickly seem very contrary to what I believed i heard. Looking at this devotion this morning and knowing Joseph's story I can see such a big correction to my wandering heart. O how I have ripped myself off time and time again. Well this morning  - this beautiful morning I say  forgive me Lord and I still say Yes to everything that's in your heart for me. May I not focus on the circumstances of today but may I see and trust in the word that You have spoken. My life is not my own and whatever You deems necessary to humble me, strengthen me, ignite me for a work that will bring glory to Your name then I'm in .
This is a good morning for sure - o and to make it just that much better my beautiful hubby text and said he got an earlier flight out of Seattle - he is on his way home as i type. Thank you Jesus bring him home safely to us.
Have a great day and always remember to keep chasing righteousness!!1

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Thinking back a month ago when I was really moved in my heart with this verse and thought process. I sent this email to a friend and now sitting here this morning in a moment of praise to my sweet Jesus I realized that what He gave me then was exactly what I would need to draw my strength from today in this test and trial of my life. I am just so blessed and filled with joy in how He is so faithful to prepare us beyond our understanding in the  before moments for what's to come around the corner. Thank you Lord.

Psalm 135:5-6 
5For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
6 Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.

I got to thinking with this truth that our Lord, our Savior, our Father does whatever He pleases to do. He allows all things for His pleasure. Hard to wrap our minds around that thought when the difficult, impossible things come our way. yes we read and desperately try to believe that He allows / causes all things for good for those that love Him. I get that He has the blimps perspective on the Rose parade sort of speak. From beginning to the end He sees it. We see just the float that just passed us by, the one in front of us, and the front of the one coming our way. However, He sees the entire parade happening at the same time. Anyway, I got to thinking that if He does/ allows things because it pleases Him then it should please me as well. If it’s what he wants then it SHOULD be what I want. So why the often struggle in my heart. Romans 12 tells us the will of God is good and acceptable and perfect. We want to believe this and surrender to this  but our flesh rages war against this truth. I concluded all I know how to do and all I know to tell anyone else is to take it to the cross. Unsurrendered hearts need to be broken at the cross, tears need to be shed, and the brokenness of a doubting heart needs to be left at the cross. Repentance of the sin so the healing can come is where this all needs to start. Not once in our life but every time it comes – we need to take it to the cross. Will we ever be perfected in this. I really don’t know if that will happen here on earth, pretty much doubt it but what I do know is it happens for moments at a time but a lifestyle of this  not so sure, as I’ve yet to be able to say it is true of me – SO take it to the cross is what I will continue to do.
So in conclusion of this time spent with the Lord with this whole thought process. I will purpose to see what looks hard to me and impossible in my mind, as my Jesus doing what He pleases in my life because and trusting that He comes from a heart of pure untainted love towards me.
So today this moment I rejoice in the difficulties of my life.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

here i am

Good grief - how is it that 2 months have come and gone since I've been here. I can see that i have lots of reading to catch up on with some of my favorite blog sites that I visit as well. So let's catch up:
MY 5K: yes yes yes I did it  - unbelievable at that time to see that I set a goal of 36min and made it in 34.11  - I learned something amazing that day, ok a few things but the most important thing was NEVER NEVER NEVER commit to anything within the first few hours after running a race with success. Shoot I would have said yes to anything I was so flying high on endorphins - lol  - Now to look back 2 months ago and think how far I have come since then I am shocked. Saturday I ran my farthest distances 7miles yep that's right 7. Training for a half marathon in October (13.2miles). What a crazy ride this has been - so many friends from church have jumped on board with this crazy goal - but what a joy to finally feel as if I am truly taking care of God's temple / my body in the right way. No more line in the sand for me - I am a runner !!
Running has become this crazy therapy thing for me. Realizing I have so many mental blocks in my head from  my past and all my insecurities and running has become the unexpected vehicle that my sweet Lord is using to heal me from so many things. Better late than NEVER  - so here I am 45yrs old and saying yes to the Lord in so many things - things that I have secretly so longed to be used by Him with and just felt way to presumptuous in it all. Life is changing and I never know what the days will bring but to wake up everyday and say, ' Jesus what are you up to today and may I please play a part in bringing glory to Your name',  - and this all started with a 30second run that just about killed me.... on to something else......
So Aaron is going to school this year for the first time ever!!! 8th grade - now this is about to change our lives in some very complicated way but long story short once God dealt with me in my pride in not wanting him to go, I was left with the wisdom that if this the challenge of school is going to be the vehicle that the Lord uses to bring about strength of character, then how can I say that it's not good enough. Will he drowned - maybe. Could he fail - possible. Will he make bad choices - yes. But these will all be on him and he will need to figure this out. We will be the loving home that will support him while he struggles. We will be there to pray and wipe his tears.We will be the constant source of love and the things of Jesus while he finds his way in school. I guess this might not make sense to you as the reader but to give you the history is just way to much writing and you may have already checked out my now. Anyway, my son is going to school and we will be on our knees.
FOOTBALL: so just to make sure that our life is just that much more complicated this year Aaron is playing football for the first time. Placentia Steeler!!!!!! now this is one happy mom that all her Steeler stuff will get plenty of use this year - lol  The irony is that we are a house divided Daddy is Broncos all the way. Mom, Steelers ( I'm a Rain for goodness sakes ! ) and well Aaron sides with all things Daddy NEVER NEVER Mom. So to see my son with Steelers uniform - lol O the joy!!!!!! NOW will he prove to be any good - time will tell and i am sure there will be many post along the way. He is his daddy's son however so somehow I'm sure he will find himself with a lot of great ability out there - But i can still out run them both!!!

to be continued later.....

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

SO this morning as I sat and thought about my Mom. I couldn't but smile from ear to ear. I so love her. Was she the perfect Mom - doubt it. But she was the BEST MOM for me. Her strengths and weakness' are the very things God used to mold some of the things I like most about myself. It gave me a fresh breath of hope this morning as i thought about myself as a Mom. Many days I think, "I'm a horrible parent - why would the Lord allow me to ever be any ones mom?" made me wonder if my mom ever had days like that. Did she ever want to walk away. - did she ever want me to be different. Somehow in all that thinking I was just filled with hope and a deeper understanding of the love and sacrifice my Mom made for me. Thanks Mom I really can say you are the best Mom for me - and I see your name a little more perfectly suited for you - GRACE!
I love you Gracie

Friday, May 6, 2011

Friday in Motion

So tonight marks 1st VBS worship practice of the season. Can't wait for the gals to see these new songs. Fun choreography!!!
Tonight on the list:
So Good - Lincoln Brewster
Reaching For You - Lincoln Brewster
Our God - Chris Tomlin
Starrry Night - Chris August - so far my fav new one
and we will make sure we are all tight on:
Glorious Day  - Casting Crowns
I will Follow - Chris Tomlin

long night but it will be so much fun - nothing like a bunch of aging gals who think they were the the 'Laker Girls" in their earlier days.  - lol O it's a hoot. If nothing else it is a great workout

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

O Jesus may we understand and live love as you so beautifully displayed it on that cross.
"Forgive them for they know not what they do"  - JESUS

Thursday, April 28, 2011

David Wilkerson with our Jesus

So yesterday found the passing of one of the really really greatly used men of God, David Wilkerson. Instead of  posting about the accident that took his life from this earth, I wanted to share the last thoughts that were on his heart for us. Here are the devotions he wrote this past week.
FRIDAY, APRIL 22, 2011
“Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the veil” (Hebrews 6:19).  The anchor referred to in this passage of Scripture is hope. Not the hope of this wicked world, but the hope founded on God’s oath to keep, bless, govern those who trust him. This hope alone is our anchor in the storm falling on the earth at this present time. The writer of Hebrews admonished, “Be not slothful, but followers of them who through faith and patience inherit the promises” (6:12).
God made an oath to the “heirs of promise” who are all those who are in Christ. He made an oath in order to end all strive—all doubts—so that “…we might have a strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold upon the hope set before us” (6:18). 
Here is our hope: GOD HAS SWORN TO FULFILL HIS PROMISES AND IT IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR GOD TO LIE. He kept his word to Abraham—he will keep his word to you as you trust him. We need strong consolation in these times. After all is said and done—and all the sermons have been preached on
hope—it comes down to this: Are we willing to commit all into his hands—rest in his Word—and stand without wavering in the love of God, fully convinced his promises to you will be fulfilled? You can take that kind of faith beyond the veil into the holiest!
MONDAY, APRIL 25, 2011
Nothing honors God more than trusting him in the face of difficulties. How qickly we forget the miracles and past blessings.
In Psalm 106 we see Israel beholding an incredible miracle as the Red Sea caved in upon the Egyptian army, drowning every soldier. “When they saw the Egyptians lie in the sea before them, then they believed in God, and sang his praise.” And the next words that follow are, “They soon forgot his works” (verse 13).  But we cannot trust our faith to past experiences—we are too forgetful and recall is too fragile. Past experience alone will not be enough to strengthen us in present difficulties. We need fresh faith—anchored in a daily supply of the Word of God—a fresh word from God! Trust God when facing difficulties and God will trust you with more of his grace, his all-sufficiency and his strength. To trust God in the face of dire difficulties requires a venturing faith—committing all things into his caring hands. There comes a time we must launch out into the deep and cast every care upon him. This venturing faith is all-pleasing to him. Faith is our only hope, our only way out of difficulties. So let us step out and commit all to him! 
I do not mean that Christians who fall back into old sins and turn back to the  world are being tested. No, those believers face a shipwreck of faith. But Peter warned, “Beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own steadfastness” (2 Peter 3:17). Peter is warning believers who are growing in holiness and are set on following the Lord. Some of you may have taken a fall in spite of all the progress you’ve made with the Lord. If I asked you what caused your fall, you might answer, “Brother Dave, it was a fit of anger. I was provoked by my own family and I blew up. I can’t understand it. I thought I was becoming a little sweeter, a little more like Jesus. But somebody just pushed the wrong button and I lost
it.” You may say, “I’m only human. How much am I supposed to take?” It does not matter that you were provoked or even that you were in the right. The provoking simply proved you need deliverance. Scripture says, “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor [fighting], and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice [grudges]” (Ephesians 4:31). God is going to keep testing you until you say, “I’ve got a spirit in me that’s got to go.” You will see no growth in Christ, no peace at home or on the job, until you can say, “You’re right, Lord—take it out!” If you’re being tested in this area, or any other area for that matter, you may be thinking, “I feel so unworthy. How much ground have I lost? Does the Lord still love me?”
Dear saint, if you have truly repented, you haven’t lost any ground whatsoever. God puts his loving arms around you and says, “I allowed that to happen so you would see what’s in your heart. But you’re making progress. You’ve said you want to walk with me, and I’m teaching you. I know what’s  inside of you and I’ll allow you to be provoked until you get rid of it all.” 
Are you being tested? If so, just pray: “Lord, you’ve put your finger on some areas in me. Pluck them out of my heart. Encourage me, Lord, that I’m not going backward—I’m going forward with you!” 

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 27, 2011   -yesterday the day he passed
To believe when all means fail is exceedingly pleasing to God and is most  acceptable. Jesus said to Thomas, “You have believed because you have seen, but blessed are those that do believe and have not seen” (John 20:29).
 Blessed are those who believe when there is no evidence of an answer to prayer—who trust beyond hope when all means have failed. Someone has come to the place of hopelessness—the end of hope—the end of
all means. A loved one is facing death and doctors give no hope. Death seems inevitable. Hope is gone. The miracle prayed for is not happening. That is when Satan’s hordes come to attack your mind with fear, anger,
overwhelming questions: “Where is your God now? You prayed until you had no  tears left. You fasted. You stood on promises. You trusted.”  Blasphemous thoughts will be injected into your mind: “Prayer failed. Faith
failed. Don’t quit on God—just do not trust him anymore. It doesn’t pay!”  Even questioning God’s existence will be injected into your mind. These have  been the devices of Satan for centuries. Some of the godliest men and women who ever lived were under such demonic attacks.  To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping  willlast through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but
one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”  Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means  fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word.
There is no other hope in this world.

what will your last words be the week you are taken from this earth?

Friday, April 22, 2011

Random Thoughts on a Friday AM

Sleeping in felt so so good. Haven't done that in a long time. My running schedule gets me up at 5am, but I must say I am really beginning to like this whole running thing. NOT DURING NOT AT ALL but before and after. 4 weeks from tomorrow I will actually be running my first 5k. Unbelievable! These last 4 weeks is all about building up speed for this thing. Not looking to win, just looking to produce the best run for this soon to be 45 overweight body. From a 60 second run that I was sure I would die of a heart attack, to a 38min run yesterday. Yes I was hating it but when I was done I felt so fantastic. I never never thought they could make a believer out of me. NEVER!
Good Friday this is what today is and as I sit here and think about what my Jesus did for me I can't help but get emotional. How loved I am. ME He loves ME, He died for ME, He suffered for ME!!!!! He did THAT on that cross so I could be called His - yep that is pretty stinkin perfect. may I never take that for granted.
So for Children's Worship I choreographed the song 'Glorious God' by Casting Crowns.  I wanted this to be the song for the kids to worship to for Resurrection Sunday. We have been teaching it to them over the past couple of weeks. WOW that is a sight to behold. So beautiful. It's moments like that when I realize yes I'm getting pretty old and I should be hanging up my hat in this ministry soon. BUT I can't imagine missing out on moments like that. I'm very technically challenge, but I will try to figure out how to video it and post it up here. I love teaching this kids worship with all their body and voices. May they all grow up to be adults with no inhibitions in their worship to our Lord. Nay they all have that place of pure intimacy with the Lover of their souls.

This morning while doing my Bible study I was meditating on Eph 5;10 trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord.
I got to thinking is this true of me. How often am I mindful of wanting to know what pleases my Lord's heart? after a few pages of cross referenced verses and many challenging questions to myself regarding this, I came to the bottom line in my rabbit trail that in all things said and done I want to live a life pleasing to Him and if this is really my conviction then I am opening myself up to some pretty hard refining times ahead. BUT wouldn't that be a great thing to have been said of you. " she really loved to please the heart of Jesus" O Lord grow me into that truth for my life.
In closing I'm looking at how badly my house needs cleaning. I will have 18 people including dogs in my home on Sunday and you know what i think I'm better off not cleaning it before they get here. It will take 5 min before it doesn't show 1 trace of evidence that it had ever been clean. So never mind with the cleaning.
Well enjoy your Friday!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Happy Monday !

Well most people dread the awakening of a Monday morning, I rather like it  - no I pretty much love Mondays. I guess it's coming off a day of serving the Lord and watching all the amazing things that God is doing in and through the lives of His people. I always wake with a song of praise on my heart and just a sense of thankfulness of all i got to see displayed by our Lord the day before. This morning the song resonating in my head was "Lovely" by Chris Tomlin. I had just finished choreographing it for our upcoming VBS - AND tomorrow is Chris Tomlin at the Gibson Theater. O MY I CAN'T WAIT !!!! Going with a few friends - we all do children's worship so you can bet we will all be doing hand motions to most likely every song he sings. Seeing that we have choreography for ALOT of his songs. LOVE Chris Tomlin for kids worship: perfect words, perfect beat - everything translates just right for the kids. I should write him and share with him how his music has taught our kids how to worship and praise our Lord!!!!
To see the joy on a face of a 6 year old autistic boy who has no ability to have a back and forth conversation YET he can sing every word to Exalted / Sing Sing Sing and do every hand motion. To see that face and you know he understands. That is priceless. To watch a 5th grade teacher singing and doing hand motions then falling to his knees in total abandoned worship to our King while singing' Jesus Messiah". To see the 10 year old girl who is often picked on by her peers at school, yet she can come to church and sing and dance and laugh with her Sunday school classmates in absolute joy to the song "Made To Worship? I could go on and on but I'll just state that I am so thankful for his gift of writing music. It is perfect for kid's worship!!!!

So Monday is here: back to running after a stupid ankle injury. Minor set back but one that is leaving me with some discouragement. I did 1-10min mile then walked 1/2  mile then ran 1/2 mile. SO stinks I'm supposed to be on week 8 of C25K which means 28min run. So the plan is do what i can this week, in what is responsible for my ankle and then pick up next week with week 8. Glad i went running though it felt good to get out there.
After run, home to morning coffee and time in the Word. Looking at Ephesians 4. That is what "k" group will be doing tomorrow night - remember I wont be there I will BE AT THE CONCERT!!!! spent the last 2 weeks inductively studying it. So many nuggets. As I was reviewing it this morning to look at what changes I'm going to be accountable to doing. I was drawn once again to verses 1-3  Therefore I the prisoner of the Lord implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with all patience, showing tolerance for one another in love being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
Really seeing this as a question to myself - am I walking in a manner worthy of the calling placed upon my life?(  Then I see there is a check list to match the way I walk to check it by God's standards, if I am in deed walking worthy: humility, gentleness, patience, showing tolerance in love, being diligent to preserve the spirit of unity. That is a tough list but one of great self examination. So this is the standard and to not allow God to do the hard work in these areas would only mean 1 thing. NOT WALKING WORTHY. So today my prayers are focused around this verse, for the Lord to show me the true intentions of my heart in this and for me to have a conscience awareness of pulling from His strength to walk in this manner. Great piece of scripture!
Happy Monday All make it count for the Kingdom! - even if you only smile and say hello to one stranger then shoot a prayer up for them as you walk away. No telling how that could change that persons day, week, life. Yep I believe we have that kind of influence for Jesus.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Miles for Melanoma

So race day is coming soon May 21st to be exact. Our team leader, Mary - yes you all know Mary she is the one I complain much about with this crazy 5k idea. ANYWAY, most of our team was formed because we are a bunch of old out of shape mommas and this was APPARENTLY a good idea. However, Mary asked if any of us are running in honor of someone. I got this idea that I would put it out there to see if any of you have battled this yucky disease or have known someone who has. I would love to write names on my race day shirt as a small way to honor them all. So please let me know and I will run with my head held high and I will even throw in a cross the finish line victory dance - just wait and see!!!!

Monday, March 28, 2011

welcome monday!!!

Morning run  - check
Morning time with my Jesus - check
Morning Bible study time - check
Morning coffee - check
Favorite morning weather - check ( chilly and cloudy )
So why am i feeling like I just want to run back to bed and pull the covers over my head for the rest of the day.
Well I better purpose to bless others today otherwise I think my funk might stay awhile. OR maybe a good mid-morning ramble will be good for me................aaaa never mind I got nothing!!!!
O wait here is some super fun news.
francis chan wrote a kids book
Ronnie Wilson's Gift  -     
        By: Francis Chan
WOW look I did have something amazing to say today!!!
Happy Monday ......

Friday, March 11, 2011

let's pray for Japan

Holy loving Jesus, our risen Lord, our Strength and Refuge, Creator of the Universe, Messiah, Healer, Provider You are and we are Your people. We praise You O Lord for You are Good, You O Lord are Sovereign - Praise You Jesus!!! Hold us and anoint us with your wisdom and bring clarity and guidance to our every step. Shielded us from all that is not of You, our King Jesus Christ.

We love You Jesus and we thank you for Your tender loving hand in our lives.

This morning Lord we come to you and pray on bended knee for Japan and all the catastrophic events that are happening because of the earthquake. Lord we trust that You will reign and show Yourself strong and good in all that seems so horrific for You Jesus have allowed this and we know that You are Good so Jesus we trust in that and pray for hearts to return to You, for hearts to seek and find You. We have seen revival begin in Haiti and we trust that nothing less will become of this as well. Bring aid to those in need, pour your comfort for those that are grieving, have MERCY on the suffering, bring strength to those that are exhausted, bring rescue to the displaced children, comfort the hearts of the mommas who don't know where their children are, bring a song of praise to your believers there and may they sing loud and may the hearers find rest in the praise. Bring aid quickly Lord

You are God!!!


Thursday, March 10, 2011

I'm still running

So I am still running and guess what?.....I'm not dead!
This 'couch to 5k'  really is a smart program. If someone like me can still be running after 5weeks ( restarted with my friend at the 3rd week ) then there really is hope for ANYONE! What I have learned at this point:
 - I no longer want to strangle Mary
 - God really will give you strength to take one more step
 - I could never do this alone - thank you Jesus for running buddies, especially my other book end.
 - Ones body really does start to crave it  - the other day i said, " O I need to run (as a fond thought in my head)"  i about jumped out of my skin thinking who in the world just said that, It honestly made me laugh out loud! that stinkin Mary was right all along.
 - not sure what the weight is doing - tying to not let that become an idol  on this road of honoring God with His temple - BUT I can tell that things are shifting - YET ANOTHER thing Mary said would happen. Shoot I'm beginning to think this Mary is smart and maybe one should listen to her a little more often - not this one but someone ;0) just kiddin I so adore her. not to mention I have complete hair jealousy. Pretty pretty pretty!

NOW this coming week is a little terrifying for me. The running sequence is jumped up way more intense ( wk4) so many have said that having to repeat it is pretty common thing. It will come for me after a 3 day no run - not sure that is a good idea. I think i may have to run while I'm in Arizona visiting my sis. Maybe my Hannie will run with me.
Well gotta get. Just wanted you all to know that I HAVE NOT thrown in the towel. I'm staying on course.
always remember............ Keep Chasing Righteousness!!!

Monday, March 7, 2011

My Memorial Service

so pretty much everyone is thinking I've lost my mind or that i am an absolute control freak. Well I suppose both can very well be true. HOWEVER, I went to a beautiful memorial service this past Saturday of a dear sweet servant in our Church. To sit and listen to this woman's life I was once again challenged in my life of what in the world would my legacy be - what would people say of me. This lady lived a remarkable life and strength and love were the resounding  themes in every ones testimonials of their relationship with her. I left that day to have lunch with a friend who also happened to be at that service and we got to talking about our own memorial service and and how we would like those to look. SO now I am writing out my memorial service. It's funny the responses you get from people  when you tell them and share the excitement of the plan with them. Why does death freak people out so much. I'm rather enjoying planning this day out. Whether it will be a a few weeks, years, or decades. There is no doubt that I want to be the one to plan it. Here are some loosely made plans so far:
Rockin live worship music, and of course children's ministry worship with the entire place participating in choreography that I have been so blessed to create through the years.
Food: yes all my favorite yummie recipes - so that means I need to start writing them all out since I NEVER follow a recipe.
Open mic time - it has been my goal for well over 10 years to give everyone I love a crazy Susan moment so that they can share them at my service. No crying allowed - just that head scratching thought "how did God ever use that crazy woman".
What Pastor to share - well the one who really knows me is Pastor Maury, so it will be him. I pretty much just want there to be an alter call and the bold question. "why are you choosing hell with the one who seeks to destroy you instead of choosing life eternal with the lover of you soul who brings peace and joy" I want him to be in their faces - call them out  - I am not worried about offenses - i am terrified of their eternal damnation.
No coffin for me burn it up - this flesh of mine has only caused me grief - no one needs to ever feel as if they should go to my grave site. Burn me up and toss it in the trash - honestly throw it away my battle with my flesh will be over and it needs to be forever gone.
Now Bobby knows for anyone who comes to my service they need to leave with the book "crazy love "  - by Francis Chan. This book is everything I ever tried to say to anyone who would ever give me a minute to talk to them. he says it in such a gifted way and those are the words I want as my departing words to anyone who has ever known me. Now my current repeated read " the privilege" - by Kay Smith. Well if you are female you need to read it. This will most likely be the 2nd book to be given out at my service. I think I'm quickly building a gift bag for everyone. Hey that is not a bad idea. People love gifts - hhhhmmmmm I'm gonna have to think through that - I like that idea. SEE now you all want to come - it's always about the gifts  ;0) - if you gift them they will come!!!!!
No need to dress up in something  you are not comfortable in. If you know me I always pick comfort. Ladies if I didn't have to have it be coed I would pick it to be a jammie party - aren't we always most comfortable in our jammies!!! but it will be coed so dress accordingly.
So there you have it  - I'm getting it all written down. rather enjoying the process but through it all really wondering what would people say about me? There is a great song by Nichole Nordeman - Legacy. In there she sings, "I want to leave a legacy How will they remember me? Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough  to make a mark on things I want to leave an offering A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name unapologetically And leave that kind of legacy"
Love this and want it to be true of me.

Enjoy your day and be challenged by the thought of what kind of legacy are you leaving behind?

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Move That Mountain Jesus!!!

I posted the other day about the mountain moving challenge I had put out there to my 'k' group and then could see the face of a handful of ladies that I knew I needed to send it to as well. ANYWAYS, of the ones I know, because I had said I didn't need to know if they were doing it or not, I heard back from 32 woman. Can you believe that! Even now writing this it brings a smile to my face and a tear of joy to my eyes. A few gals over the past few days have asked me about this challenge from when I did it 15 years ago and how that went. So here I am to share what that God experience was in my prayer/faith journey. .....
Bobby and I had been married a little over a year and even though we had already been together for 61/2 years, there were many 1st year marriage challenges that I was dealing with. I remember one day hearing this story of Doug and Bob on KWVE (I'm pretty sure that is where it was - I will post it later so you can read it).  Well my heart jumped out of my chest and I knew that I wanted and needed to have a mountain moved in my marriage, God needed to change my husband. So right there that moment I committed to God that "yes Lord I will do this". I picked Monday to start, because don't we always pick Monday to start everything????? ;0)   I couldn't wait to tell Bobby what I was going to do. O NO God stopped me and clearly spoke to my heart to not say one thing. Bobby was not to know. O MY THAT CANT BE!!!!! Well of course my Jesus knew my manipulative heart and knew I would use it as a tool to manipulate my husband - so here I was now with a restriction on this challenge. Then somewhere over the next couple of days I could hear the Lord tell me 2 more things that seemed weird but I knew it was Him.
1. pray in your closet on your knees - I had never done that before
here is the kicker
2. only pray the Lord's prayer!
Now how does that make sense?
So here I was getting ready to pray for the Lord to move a mountain in my marriage - meaning Bobby and I am not allowed to tell him, I'm in my closet on my knees AND praying the Lord's prayer, that has nothing to do with what I needed to pray for. O the things that God was convicting my heart about during those days was insane.
So that Monday I started - obeyed what were the rules for ME. 1st week - felt so silly - it all felt manufactured and couldn't imagine how this was going to work. But then somewhere along the way my heart began to change and I craved going in that closet and would weep when I would say 'Hallowed be thy Name" For a few days I think I forgot what I was praying for and just prayed the words to what was becoming the cry of my heart pray. Somewhere along the line with each word I prayed I could see how perfectly applicable they were to the things in my marriage I had wanted to pray for. I was seeing Bobby differently, I was seeing my marriage very differently.
Day 40 the mountain was changed. ME God changed ME! I was the mountain and had no idea. The things I thought needed changed in Bobby were now in many ways blessings in my life and I had clarity to see the beauty of what it brought to the marriage and in my life. The things I once tried so hard to manipulate a change in him with through guilt and trying so hard to get him to fight with me, were now the very things that I could see was the perfect fit to allow me to serve God on the level that He was asking me to serve Him. Even writing this now brings me so much joy and thankfulness that God knew me best and set those guidelines on me.
That was when I began to understand prayer and it's power and purpose in my life.
Thank You Jesus for moving this mountain!!!!