I've been going through this time of uncertainty of what is going on physically with my body. you see I found a mass in my neck 8 months ago or so. Well finally after all this time of test, Dr appts, blood work - you know the drill. I have an answer. Nothing that is going to take my life or cause me continued grief - it's only a lymph node reacting to something in my body. 1st I say Praise the Lord for answered prayer - then I have to stop and say O MY Goodness what in the world is wrong with me that I have worried off and on for over these 8 months. Bringing loved ones into a place of concern with what 'might' be happening to me. WOW crazy. Sure I know we need prayer and that is important but I get to thinking about my lack of faith and all that I have not done for Jesus because I would have rather been thinking about the "what ifs" of this situation. So not liking what I'm seeing in myself in all of this. I know these things are brought into our lives to shake us up and show us our lack of faith, our lack of trust, our lack of really living what we preach of wanting to be a disciple of His. But once the hard reality of it all hits, it becomes a bit humbling, an awareness of how much I need Jesus. Just when i think I'm growing I become that much more aware of the filthiness of who I am and all I can really do is fall on my knees in humbly surrender to a Holy God who loves me, died for me, uses me, and thinks I'm worth it. Isn't He amazing!!!!
Thank You Lord that You put the hard things in our way to expose the hardness of our hearts that are useless to You. Thank You that You never promise us a life of ease but only one of peace if we but stay the course with You and trust You in the storms of life.
Crazy how a stupid lymph node can bring such self awareness and even greater awareness to who He is.
Thank you Lord for a reactory lymph node!!!!!!
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