Scar Me Lord - it's gonna be worth it.

O Lord at what point and time will I not feel this pride and insecurity???

This season of allowing my Jesus permission to dig to "THAT" part of my heart that I have forever nurtured and "spiritually - covered up" is so stinkin painful. Studying the book of Galatians has brought me to this place of saying, enough is enough ! - I no longer choose bondage. I choose freedom!!! Now as lovely as that sounds, the reality is a process that is just about making the consequence of my chooses unbearable. Sure I get it - I see why and that it has to cost me something. It has to be painful. It has to bring me to that place of, I'm no longer breathing. However, today i have breath - which in my perspective is HOPE. Hope is being able to breathe. I feel His love and grace on me assuring me that it's gonna be worth it. His love is so perfect and knowing that this season of breaking me out of my self inflicted prison will leave scars but in those scars will be freedom that will enable me to be more useful for His glory. So this day I pray that when it hurts me, I will praise Him through the emotional pain and know that there is a day coming when I will feel light as a feather with a heart of gladness for having chosen the harder road.
 OOOOOO I wonder if I will look light as a feather tooooo!!!! 

I Believe!

I wasn't going to post this then tonight I got to thanking God for all he did last week with the prayers that were prayed during our 3-Day Prayer and Fast for our kids and i just couldn't resist putting this praise out here in blogsville.

A little prelude: after a series of many frustrating weeks and dire situations for myself and some friends, I figured we needed to pray and fast for our kids. Satan is relentless in his desperation to destroy our kids and it's time we get proactive and go to battle with the big guns PRAY & FASTING. We know its expected of us and we know that it works, yet we are so weak to deny our flesh that we can come up with many excuses why we don't. However the Word is clear:

1. Fasting helps subject our bodies to our spirits. (I Cor 9:27)
2. Fasting is disciplining the body, mind, and spirit. (Prov. 25:28)
3. Fasting is subordinating our flesh-desires to our spirit-desires. (Gal 5:17)
4. Fasting helps set the priorities in our lives. (Mt 6:33)
5. Fasting is longing after God. (Ps 63:1-2)
Why Should We Fast?
1. Honor God - Mt 6:16-18, Luke 2:37, Acts 13:2, Mt 5:6
2. Humble Yourself - 2 Chron 7:14-15
3. Discerning Healing - I Cor 11:30, James 5:13-18, Isaiah 59:1-2
4. Deliverance from Bondage - Mt 17:21, Is 58:6-9 (loose bands of wickedness)

5. Revelation - God’s vision and will - Dan 9:3, 20-21, Dan 10:2-10, 12-13

6. Revival - personal and corporate - Acts 1:4, 14 / 2:16-21, Joel 2:12-18
7. Repentance - personal failures - Psalm 51: Jer. 29:11-14, James 4:8-10

Anyway, I called upon some friends and was blessed beyond blessed to have 14 of them say yes lets do this - so we did. We denied the flesh to feed the spirit and fight the fight for our kids. to God be the Glory!!!! So that leads me to my story that I wanted to share.

It was the last night of the fast and i was driving home from church alone as Bobby and Aaron stayed behind to play basketball in the gym with some other guys. I was just praising the Lord for all things about Aaron and his life. i started really being thankful for his health. i realized how very blessed we have been as this kid never gets sick. as active as he is there have been no broken bones and no stitches and barely any normal sicknesses. I was just enjoying my drive home thanking the Lord for good health. So I'm home for about an hour and in walks Aaron, "Mom please help me it hurts real bad" there i stood looking at his arm thinking it must be broken. It's already black and blue and the lump was huge. At first I panicked then I started laughing- really cracking up laughing. he is looking at me like 'what is wrong with you, I'm hurt!' How could it be that I was just praising God for good health and no accidents and this walks in my house. O the comedy of it in that moment. I quickly composed myself as i new it looked pretty rude and I went into real mommy mode. Bobby was assuring me that it wasn't broke but that it was indeed a pretty bad bruising. I guess you want to know how this happened - okay well it's not glamorous but the bottom line is he kept missing his layups and well his temper got the better of him and he slugged some part of the wall. yes you heard me right.  Well anyways after i iced it and helped him get ready for bed ( he can't use it all). I lied there and I prayed for him, realizing this was the end of the fast so I just stayed there praying and asking God for a miracle, asking him to show Himself strong to Aaron and the power that He has to heal and bring comfort. i stayed and prayed until Aaron was at peace and ready to dose off to sleep. I begged God to do this for my son. How he needs to know the power of God for himself - his parents faith will not save him and make him a surrendered sanctified soul for the Lord. he has to know the power of God for himself. So the next morning i am sitting out on my chair having my quiet time and Aaron gets up, comes over to hug and kiss me good morning and I realize he is using his arm like it's nothing but a thing. I said, " Aaron how is your arm?", he says, " good why" I just laughed and said thank you Jesus. His response made me realize that he was saying 'why are you asking mom didn't we pray for a miracle'. So my 3 day fast ended in more than I could have hoped for and I know that this is just the beginning of many times on my knees for my son.

I BELIEVE!!!!!