I never Get here anymore

Maybe not the best way to come back after a long hiatus form this blog BUT .......
I never seem to get to blogging here anymore. I guess for a few reasons:
 - I am doing a private blog with some gals, so i blog there. It's so great we are reading one of my very favorite books, "The Privilege" - by Kay Smith. We are using it as a tool to keep us in the sanctification process that the Lord has laid out for us.
 - Things i would want to blog about here might be a little to private - of course i would have no problem writing the things but i know that some may not like hearing what I have to say. SO YOU SAY 'since when has that ever stopped me before' LOL yep you're right NEVER. I guess I feel as if somethings have been a little more misunderstood then normal lately so i have wanted to be responsible. I don't know maybe it's just I'm tired of everyone being so stinkin' upset with me all the time.
DO you know how tired i am of people saying or implying how difficult it is to be my friend. Lately I have seen that it is mainly because people DO NOT like to deal in truth. Everyone comes to the table of confrontation with the #1 rule of self preservation and the fine art of doing it under the umbrella of spirituality.  Well me for one I'm  TTTTiiiiiiRRRRRRRReeeeeDDDDD of that. No real work really gets done and everyone leaves the table full of more delusion then when they arrive. I just can't do that and well there in lies the conflict that people have being my friend. I need progress - I don't want to live in delusion. I don't want to continue preserving self. I want to live allowing the Lord to deal with my deception and my junk and cleaning it up - I want to be of better service to Him and all that He is up to for each day. I can't bare the thought of self delusion - scares me!!!!
I can only imagine how crazy this all sounds as the hearer of this post. I'm really just venting this all out here and you have the honor of wading through the yuck of it. I just had this conversation on the phone so it is all just fresh and a bit hot in my head right now.
LET ME GET OFF THIS CRAZY TRAIN BUT LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT.
Every time you have a conversation with someone and you sit there thinking how crazy wrong their thinking is - if you do not speak up in love and give a different perspective, but you allow them to leave the conversation thinking you are on board with their thinking ( because they will believe that if you don't speak up )  - then i ask you how responsible are you in what might come next in their actions with that thinking or even their next conversation and putting your name into it as a way to validate it even more.
So you see being silent is way more tragic then the difficulty of speaking up.