When Others Fail Us - Charles F. Stanley

Scripture: 2 Timothy 4:9-18

I. Introduction: Friendship brings us some of the greatest joys in life—but also can cause immense pain. If you haven’t experienced rejection or betrayal yet, you probably will someday. The apostle Paul learned to forgive others for their failures and reconcile with them when appropriate. Let’s discover how he dealt with betrayal and abandonment by trusted friends.

II. Friends Sometimes Fail Us
A. Despite Paul’s faithfulness to the Lord, his friends failed him. They weren’t reliable when he desperately needed them (2 Tim. 1:15; 4:14-16).
B. What are some reasons why friends might desert you in times of trouble? They . . .
1. Feel inadequate and/or unsure of how to help.
2. Don’t want to be identified with you in a conflict, for fear they could end up on the losing side.
3. Are jealous and hope to see you fail.
4. Selfishly don’t want to sacrifice their time to support you.
5. Judge you and thus excuse themselves from the responsibility to help you.

III. Forgiveness Must Prevail
A. Paul responded to betrayal and abandonment with forgiveness: “At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them” (2 Tim. 4:16, emphasis added). Both Jesus and Stephen said something similar in the final moments of their lives (Luke 23:34; Acts 7:60).
B. Paul practiced what he preached—the importance of forgiving. Don’t be a fair-weather friend, interested only in what you can get from another person. Be willing to help even those who mistreated you in the past. Waiting for a chance to get them back—to let them down as they did to you—indicates that you have an unforgiving spirit.

IV. The Presence of the Lord Sustains Us
A. Paul was able to forgive because he knew that God would never leave him: “The Lord stood with me” (2 Tim. 4:17). Although Paul’s friends all left, he knew that the Lord Himself was with him. Christ promises all believers, “I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Heb. 13:5).
B. The apostle was able to forgive because he trusted God to empower him: “The Lord . . . strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear” (2 Tim. 4:17). Paul could rely on the presence of God to accomplish his calling—taking the gospel to the world (Phil. 2:13). Chances are, people will persecute you, and some of your friends will abandon you in tough times. But God has promised that all adversity will eventually come to an end (1 Peter 5:10).
C. He was able to forgive because he was confident that God would deliver him: “The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom” (2 Tim. 4:18). The Father may deliver us from hardship or through it (Isaiah 43:1-4). He also rescues us by bringing us home to be with Him. God delivered Paul by allowing Nero to execute him. Four years later, the ruler committed suicide. No one can violate the principles of God and avoid His judgment.

V. Conclusion: What kind of friend are you? Are you dedicated to those you love? Or do you often disappoint them? Perhaps you are faithful, but your friends consistently fail you when trouble comes. I urge you not to hold it against them. Hurt and rejection are painful but unavoidable parts of life. Healing is always available if you are willing to forgive. And you and I can take comfort in knowing that the most faithful Friend—the Lord Jesus—never leaves our side, even if everyone else deserts us