Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Have you taken yours today?

Esther 5:1-2
1 Now it came about on the third day that Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the king's palace in front of the king's rooms , and the king was sitting on his royal throne in the throne room, opposite the entrance to the palace. 2 When the king saw Esther the queen standing in the court, she obtained favor in his sight; and the king extended to Esther the golden scepter which was in his hand. So Esther came near and touched the top of the scepter.
Observations: She chose to go before the King properly dressed – in her finest almost as if to show her respect to him and her seriousness of coming.** how do I go before my King? No it’s not about my actual clothes but it is about my actual heart – am I clothed with a state of mind of respect, and reverence. Example: in my study time I take the time to pray and be still to pray on Gods Armor considering what each piece covers on my body and what that means, to repent if repentance is necessary, I breath just thinking of Him then I read asking Him to open the eyes of my heart to what He wants to show me knowing in faith that He will show me. It’s this little ritual thing I do before I begin in the Word
- He didn’t go to her he just holds out the scepter and it is up to her to move towards it and touch it – this must be done before she can speak to him** it’s that picture of us God and the Jesus again – We can not reach God unless He gives us Jesus and we accept it– God makes the first move and then it is up to us to make the next move toward Jesus, but will we reach out and grab it. It’s there for us but are we willing to do it? Or would we rather stay in our current state of fear because we get to caught up in worrying about what it will look like once we grab on to Jesus.
J.Vernon McGee calls the scepter “ The Scepter of Grace” - I like thinking about it in that way. For Esther she didn’t deserve it she broke protocol but she got it any way. For us we deserved death but God gave us Jesus anyway. As Christians God is there to give us grace daily and it’s up to us weather we take it or not. - so I ask have you taken your step today toward Him? have you reached out and taken what He has for you this very day? - - don't miss it!!!! - Esther saved a nation what can we do today if we just do our part?

Keep Chasing Righteousness!!!!!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Trust the process

i haven't been studying the Word over the past week except for just reading it - it's always so hard for me to really study when i'm not in my home environment - i know bad excuse - anyway there are a few things that really have been on my heart this past week as i have been reading and praying - desires - what are the things that we long to do for Jesus? is there a thing you long to do for Jesus? - is it a position at church? - is it something outside of the church? - do you wonder why it just hasn't happened yet? - in fact things seem to just get more complicated -you see there is a position well not a position it's more of a secret desire of what i would love to do for Jesus - it brings that excited fire in my belly when i think about it - o to be used of God in this way ( no i'm not gonna tell ya what it is - way to vulnerable ) anyway i realized that God is preparing me and it my take along time - then i realized what have i done with this desire? i have not even done it on a small scale with what God has given me - ouch that one hurt - you see there is something really wrong with having a pipe dream, you just sit around and want it talk about it ( me only to myself and God) but never do the necessary steps to pushing through the hard stuff in order for God to bring it about -so this little slap in my face has left me asking what should i be doing that i am not currently doing in order for God to guide me in His will with this desire?
Here's a ? for you - do you feel hurt, offended, slighted, over looked? - ever think that this is Gods purpose in exposing the yuck that is in your heart so as to deal with it and better prepare you for service for Him. - you see i find it interesting that you can have a desire and then when the crushing and looking impossible comes your way we can run off hurt, mad, frustrated...etc...when the truth is that is the process for the desire to come about - our Lord is so good that He needs the real us to be exposed so that we will finally let Him have His way with that thing in our heart that He can not use - to look at the trail today as the very road to being used greatly by God it sure can bring a better perspective to the situation. so let God ask us the hard questions:
Are you standing in the humility? are you willing to wait another week, month, year, or even 5 years or more in order for our God to turn clay pots into porcelain? is your behavior proving God right or satan right about who you are? how do others view your waiting?
what are you waiting for?
a tast for Jesus
a position
a child
a spouse
a friendship
__________ you fill in the blank - what ever it is trust God's Hand in the process even when the process is yucky and painful - do you trust the Sovereign God? either you do or you don't - do not be decieved there is no other option. - make sure your actions and thoughts match up to your answer.
i don't know about you put i need to go get busy!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

so if i don't get a chance to post again before thurs. you all have a very blessed and safe Thanksgiving full of many conversations of all the things you are thankful here is a very small part of my list:
I am Thankful for:
my salvation - that Jesus chose to redeem and restore this wretched soul and then chose to deem me usable
- for my husband, who really is one of the great ones from that secret island
- for my son, who brings his names meaning to my life: bright laughter
- for my family, who add so much love and joy to my life and of course the laughter - - have you meet josh? i have decided he is bob hope reincarnated - don't go gettin all wierd on me of course i don't believe in reincarnation but if you know josh you get what i'm talkin about
- for my friends, o my how wealthy i am in friendships - i really think i hit the friendship jackpot you know the kind of friends that don't have my best interest at heart they have Gods best interest at heart for me and are willing to be completely honest with me because they love me that much
- my ministry, i am allowed to serve my Jesus is some of the most fun, most exciting, most rewarding, most challenging, most fulfilling ways - my cup runneth over
- my home, how blessed i am to have a house a real house - thank you Jesus for this gift
- for my sweet Geoffery, i sure never thought i could love a pet - he sure has brought so much joy in our home - thank you steph!!!!!
- i am thankful for Thanksgiving it is my favorite holiday - i love to cook turkey and i love to eat it - o how i love to eat it

just a few things i am thankful for - how about you?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

sleep just not an option

saturday nights just do not amount to sleep for me - no matter how much i try it just really does not seem to be what my Jesus wants for me - i've come to learn that He needs me at the end of me come sunday morning while i'm serving at church and i get it - i can't say that i appreciate it yet and maybe that's the place that God is taking me to really come to that place where i value the stripping me down process - so anyway this morning at about 3ish i was taken to look at the temptation of Jesus ( it came from a message I had heard this past week) so i went Matthew 4 and read it again - this time something stuck out to me that made me look at my walk and ask some tough ?'s - we have satan tempting Jesus 3 times before he leaves Him - 1st with hunger - Jesus was hungry - he came at him with his appetite - where/what are the appetites that satan comes at me with? - then he came at Jesus with the Word - this one can really trip us up and the only way to fight it off is to know the Word of God, really know it and understanding it - this will not come from prayer times, quiet times with Jesus this comes from hard core studying the Word of God - i know this is not what some want to hear but how do we meditate on it day and night if we do not know it by studying it? - then this 3rd one that hit me hard this morning - satan comes at Jesus with using the Word against Him in trying to have Him apply it wrong - Maybe, just maybe, we can apply it in a different way - satan says basically all that stuff about betrayal and rejection, and all that stuff about being persecuted, forsaken, and sacrificed, you know, there is an easier way to obtain the promise, Jesus. Just bow down and worship me, and I will give You the kingdoms of the world. It is what You came for. We have a shortcut. We just need to tweak the word just a little bit, and Walla! Promised blessing obtained.” - dang this is a hard one think about it how often we see the Word of God twisted to fit into someones life style - we see churches dying because of it - so my ? to myself and to you is where is this happening in our life today - do we try to find the gray areas of sin? - do we try to cheat our Lord out of His first fruits (tithing) - do we fool ourselves into believing fellowship is just not that important - do you think that pray is important but you just don't need to participate on the level that some do - do you draw a line in submitting to your husband because you will not become a door mat - do we dishonor the Lord with our bodies (His Temple) , what do we eat what do we drink and then we wonder why are bodies are breaking down - okay the list can go on and on as you can see this twisting of Gods Word is rampet - so in closing today i will strive to live aware of this application and i pray that the eyes of my heart will be open to the truth - the beautiful part of all this is that once Jesus fought off this temptation Satan finally retreated - Hallelujah!!!!! - just keep in mind that it did not mean satan was gone for good he just retreated and waited for another opportunity to come at Him. - well it's 5:30am and i need to get to church - okay first stop starbucks - praise Jesus for starbucks

Friday, November 16, 2007

Every now and then i have to use someone elses words

so this morning i was reading one of many of these little devotionals i get sent to my email and this one was really powerful to me - compelled to post it i know that someone that needs it will read this post and have one of those uuuuuuuhhhhhhaaaaa moments - so i pray that as you read this that the our faithful all powerful Lord will open the eyes of your heart and place this message in your life where it belongs. - -read on

Day By Day By Grace
Bob Hoekstra
November 16
"Unusual" Consequences of Accessing Grace through Faith


Still others had trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, were tempted, were slain with the sword. They wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented. Hebrews 11:36-37
Very often, when people are trusting in the Lord to work by His grace, they are anticipating many of the delightful workings of God that are in the testimonies we have been considering. These saints "subdued kingdoms, worked righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, became valiant in battle, turned to flight the armies of the aliens" (Hebrews 11:33-34). Yet, others experienced what might be called "unusual" consequences of accessing grace through faith. They had to trust in the Lord when the aforementioned blessings did not occur. They had to trust God to sustain them in and through great difficulties of life.
Some had to endure by faith "trial of mockings and scourgings, yes, and of chains and imprisonment." Jeremiah exemplifies these. "O LORD...I am in derision daily; everyone mocks me...Therefore the princes were angry with Jeremiah, and they struck him and put him in prison" (
Jeremiah 20:7; 37:15). Some "were stoned." Zechariah was killed in this fashion for giving warnings from the Lord. "So they conspired against him, and...stoned him with stones" (2 Chronicles 24:21). Some "were sawn in two." Tradition tells us that Isaiah died in this vicious manner. Some "were tempted." In the midst of their sufferings, they were further pained by enticements to ungodly responses. Job endured this from the bad counsel of his own wife. "Do you still hold to your integrity? Curse God and die!" (Job 2:9). Some "were slain with the sword." King Saul had godly priests, who were loyal to David, executed this way." 'Kill the priests!' So Doeg the Edomite...killed on that day eighty-five men' " (1 Samuel 22:18). Others "wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented." By faith, these saints had to endure homelessness, poverty, distress, and harassment.
These servants of the Lord (who are all examples of living by faith!) are a reminder to us that our trials, sufferings, and anguishing impossibilities do not necessarily mean we are failing to trust God. Often, these challenges mean that we are being given an opportunity to humbly, dependently, draw upon the grace of God in ways that we need to experience or others need to observe.

Lord God of the "unusual" blessing, please give me the wisdom to discern and the grace to endure when Your answer to my prayer is to be a mocking, a verbal stoning, an affliction, or a season of lack, in Jesus' name , Amen.
there are times in the life of one who loves Jesus that the rescue from the hard stuff just does not come for a long time or even on this earth and as in as much as the trial is for us it is also for those watching and God preparing you to be watched and to be an influence to those that are watching - Satan wants to give people a reason to mock and gossip about you but God's intention is to draw people closer to Himself by your example of walking through the fire, praising our Lord- i suppose the bottom line is if God is getting ready to take you or your spouse to a place of influence in work, ministry, in your neighborhood, or even in the family are your actions going to bring respect in Christ or a good reason to gossip and slander - - yes i know there was alot more to that devotion up top but this is where God busted my heart.
keep chasing righteousness!!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

concerts and God's Word

it's getting harder for me to post these days - all the sudden i 'm feeling a bit to vulnurable - then it dawned on me that this is exactly what the enemy wants me to think because the truth is blogging helps me stay focused on these truths that my God is showing me - you know, they are out there for anyone who may stumble upon it and even though my faithfulness should souly be because of Jesus there is that thing that once you say it out loud (and this is pretty out loud)yikes integrity is really on the line !- so i say thank you Jesus because what ever works in my life to keep me moving forward on His path - so be it
so we seem to be concert goers these days - we as a family went to the mercy me concert a couple weeks ago - aaron's 1st real concert - amazing - we had awesome seats and sang - praised - and worshiped for 2 1/2 hours - this band is probably my favorite band to see in concert - great music and they LLLLOOOOVVVVEEEEEE my Jesus sssssssssooooooooo much. ( if i already posted about this sorry i forgot ) - so now we bought tickets for Jeremy Camp & Toby Mac in concert together - insane - we have front row seats at Gibson Universal Amphitheater - Toby Mac is Aaron and Bobby's favorite - i love him too but definitely going for Jeremy Camp - he is my favorite single artist. One of Aaron's dreams is to ride in a limo - so for his Christmas gift we might get him a limo for the concert - it would be just to much fun to live this night out with that smile that would shirley be plastered on him face. - he's so cute i can here him screaming and laughing now about it - yes he would scream as he thinks he is a christian rock star (that's a post for another day)- so let's get on to some sweet time in God's Word:
Esther 3: 7-9 - from my inductive study - this is the shortened version - be thankful ;0)
7 In the first month, which is the month Nisan, in the twelfth year of King Ahasuerus, Pur , that is the lot, was cast before Haman from day to day and from month to month, until the twelfth month, that is the month Adar. 8 Then Haman said to King Ahasuerus, "There is a certain people scattered and dispersed among the peoples in all the provinces of your kingdom; their laws are different from those of all other people and they do not observe the king's laws, so it is not in the king's interest to let them remain. 9 "If it is pleasing to the king, let it be decreed that they be destroyed, and I will pay ten thousand talents of silver into the hands of those who carry on the king's business, to put into the king's treasuries."
Observations:
God sure did use this lot business – the way they landed this gave Esther plenty of time to do the Lord’s work. (who says God isn't working behind the scenes even in the wicked situations)
Haman is very clever – a smooth talker orchestrating a slaughter house and doing it so that it seems to be honorable –
Rabbit trail: now Haman was quit manipulative the King never really saw his real intent it is most often difficult to really know ones heart intent in situations which is one reason why we need to be asking always for God’s wisdom at all times in all situations:
Wisdom: Ps 111:10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments; His praise endures forever.

Pr 1:2 To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding,

Pr 1:7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Pr. 2:7 He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity, - – walking in uprightness is walking in the place that honors God – now it is going to look different for each of us according to the things God has shown us - with knowledge comes responsibility – once God has opened our eyes to truth we must walk in it in order to be upright – to have spiritual integrity – other wise we are choosing to live in the verse in Hebrews that says – once you have learned the truth and do not obey there no longer remains a sacrifice for sin – basically you throw a attitude hand up to what our Jesus did on the cross – so with that I know that my desire is to live a life that is has spiritual integrity.
To look at Daniel 6 - to see the integrity that Daniel lived. He was appointed positions because of his integrity - it would not waiver in his beliefs because of his integrity - yes it ultimately got him in the lions den but look at what God did there.
Daniel did not waver his integrity survived
Living a life of integrity cost but the favor of God will rest in your life:

Application: so taking this whole integrity issue and applying it to my life here are some vows for me to take:
1. keep my word
2. always do the harder right over the easier wrong
3. guard my principles
4. do the right thing according to the Word of God

it will cost me - it will not keep me out of the lions den – it could cost me relationships – job – ministry – but to lose because of integrity is to gain for my Jesus

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

- so as you know i'm studying the book of Esther - currently i'm in chapter 3 so here is my findings from a few verses, yes it is a rabbit trail
CHAPTER 3
1 After these events King Ahasuerus promoted Haman, the son of Hammedatha the Agagite, and advanced him and established his authority over all the princes who were with him. 2 All the king's servants who were at the king's gate bowed down and paid homage to Haman; for so the king had commanded concerning him. But Mordecai neither bowed down nor paid homage.
Observations:

Here is Mordecai – a backslidden Jew yet we can see that he is stepping more and more in line with the things of God – when the hard things come one tends to run towards the things of God – like a nonbeliever friend or family member that will ask you for prayer. Funny how that is.
also reminded of myself and the years i chose to walk away from the things of God and my testimony of what brought me back ( a story for another day)

Application: is there something in my life or some things that would be viewed as bowing down to another God? Am I willing to ask a close friend and Bobby how they would answer this in my life? What are the things in my life that cause my flesh or satan more glory than God?
Are there duties in my life that do not honor my Lord that my God may be wanting me to take a stand with?
- during our prayer meeting after "k" group last week, our Lord took us to the next level of Holy Spirit lead prayer – a word came out of it from God to us through Lori ( there were only 3 of us) – Nazarite Vow – when this was spoken I knew it in my whole being that this was from God our Father - later after speaking to Heidi she to had known it was from God and had started studying it and purposed to take the vow – for me I needed to look up some stuff and understand what God was calling me to - this is what I found:
Numbers 6:1-27
The vow of the Nazarite was voluntarily made by those who desired “to separate themselves unto the LORD” (v.2) for a determined season. “All the days of his separation he is holy unto the LORD” (v.8). During the time of his separation, the Nazarite was bound by three absolute restrictions.
First, he could “eat nothing that is made of the vine tree, from the kernels even to the husk” (v.4).
Second, “there shall not razor come upon his head: until the days be fulfilled” (v.5).
Third, during the days of his separation, “he shall come at no dead body” (v.6).
At the end of his separation, specific sacrifices must be made at which time “the hair of his separation is shaven” (v.19). At that time, the restrictions of the vow are removed.
The vow was offered voluntarily. Evidently, the Nazarite himself determined the length of the vow. Therefore, he decided how much he was willing to sacrifice. Yet, after the vow was made, its requirements were very strict. Consider the three restrictions placed on the Nazarite. As a whole, they illustrate the cost of discipleship for the believer today.
Sacrifice – what food or beverage do I consume that brings me joy ( I love it ) what food or bev causes me to not have clarity? - this is what I must get rid of - you see wine represents joy which is how i have come to this conclusion on riding myself of what brings me joy and then to look at the original vow and to abstain from wine because with wine you are not clear headed so is there something i take into my body that takes my clarity away?
First, the Nazarite could drink no wine or grape juice or eat anything that came from the vine. Wine and grape juice have a wide and varied use in typology. They picture many things. Yet, one Old Testament type remains fairly consistent. The fruit of the vine pictures joy – as in the joy of harvest.
Psalm 4:7 – “Thou hast put gladness in my heart, more than in the time that their corn and their wine increased.”
Psalm 128:3 – “Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.”
One who separates himself to the service of Christ must be willing to give up some of the joys of this life for the sake of the Saviour. Christ said, “If any man will come after me, let him deny himself” (Luke 9:23). To serve the Lord fully, you must be willing to deny yourself some of this earth’s pleasures. Sinful pleasures must certainly go. But God may ask you to sacrifice seemingly harmless pleasures for His service. If you really want to serve Him, you must be willing to sacrifice whatever He requires.
Shame what is my outward adornment that I can change that #1 bobby would allow and #2 would shame me and bring acknowledgement to me of my vow?
Second, the Nazarite could not cut his hair during the time of separation. If his vow was for a long time, his hair would grow long. But in the Bible, long hair on a man indicates shame (1 Corinthians 11:14). Someone who willingly takes upon himself that which causes shame has conquered his pride. The disciple must be willing to take upon himself that which causes the world to scorn and laugh at him.
“If any man will come after me, let him…take up his cross daily” (Luke 9:23). Paul speaks of “the offence of the cross” (Galatians 5:11). Peter teaches the believers who suffer for the cause of Christ to “rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings (1 Peter 4:13). True discipleship requires us to be willing to suffer shame for His name’s sake.
Separation - from what who from whom do I need to separate myself from? Is there a Christian friend that feeds more of my flesh in my life than honoring God? Would I need to set separation from them?
Third, the Nazarite was prohibited from touching any dead body. He must totally separate from death. Once again consider the requirements of discipleship as found in Luke 9:23. (You may have noticed that the three restrictions on the Nazarite perfectly match the three requirements of the disciple as found in this verse.) “If any man will come after me, let him…follow me.”
The entire world is dead in trespasses and sins. In order to serve the Lord with all our hearts, we must follow Christ entirely and turn our backs on the things of this world. Christ told the would-be disciple, “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead” (Matthew 8:22). To follow Christ requires us to separate from the deadness of this world.
Paul taught this truth in Galatians 6:14 – “But God forbid that I should glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.” Paul got to the point where the world had no attraction for him. It was dead (“crucified”) to him. We must separate ourselves from the death of this world if we would be true disciples.
Conclusion:
What would God have you sacrifice for His sake? Whatever pleasure it may bring you, the joy of obedience is greater still. What shame would He have you take upon yourself? That is your cross. Bear it with thanksgiving and Christ will reward you accordingly. From what, or from whom, would God have you separate? Separate yourself and Christ will be ever so glorious in your sight! May we all separate ourselves to be holy unto the Lord.

so this is some heavy stuff - yet i know that in this God is speaking to my heart - so what am i giving up and from whom am i separating? - this is the place of wisdom i am asking of God right now - i know that i am to take this vow as a season of seeking God for the Leaders Retreat. May it not be in vain. Lord help me!