My intention was not to hurt you

it's a tough season right now - my Lord is really stripping me down right now - don' you hate when you know that you have inadvertently hurt someone, a close someone, one of the closest someones you have? - darn it i hate these lessons - you know the "pig monster"he just loves when these things get thrown in his slimy stinky hands. - boy can he ever have a jammin party with that kind of nonsense.
Charles Stanley says " Failure is not the time to interpret God's will" - my input: when God calls you to do something and things start looking like they are falling apart that is not the time to start questioning our God. I need to remember that He has not changed His mind or changed the call upon my life. I suppose He is trying to drag me to my knees so that I will learn early on that I can not depend on myself ( because I would rather just back peddle and get myself out of this situation and forget about the original purpose - God's purpose) God's way is trusting on Him and usually this lesson is learned best by using the ones closest to me. strangly enough it feels good to ramble that out - because the truth is i really do believe it - i just hurt because i hurt a friend - so tomorrow i will talk with her and pray that our Lords plan is to draw us closer and to grow us deeper in Him through this.

okay so i'm sitting here smelling something not so nice and darn it it's me - my jammies stink - so that only means that the whole load of laundry that's already put away stinks - LOL....

well i'm off to work on my Nehemiah Study - goodnight - if you want to see something great go down to the botom of the blog and click on the Francis Chen video with him on a wood beem - it's great -God bless and chose Jesus for every part of your heart - I promise on my life you will never regret it never.

Fish Fest

today is Fish Fest - the worship gals gave me this for my birthday gift - we are all going together - i know this is going to be an awesome day - i just pray it's not baking hot - but come on chris tomlin, mercy me, rob biagi, kutlas, third day - this is gonna be one worshipful day - i'm sure folks around us will be wondering why all the hand motions ....lol....who knows maybe we'll get up on stage with our hand motions - just kiddin' you know i'll send the girls but no way will you get me up there......my hubby comes home in a couple of hours from washington - that's the only bummer about going to fish fest today is that he is just gettin' home - i pray that him and aaron have a sweet day together - this morning i was doing my devotion on serving - one little thing that really ministered to my heart ok it convicted my heart who am i kiddin' - True serving is being selfless - i need to remember it's not about me it's about others. this is the example Jesus gave us always - often when serving it's so easy to see that the # is few who do the work and than we become frustrated or sometimes even mad - okay let' s be real here that is never serving that is complete pride and Jesus is not in it....Matthew 16:24 says ...if anyone wishes to come after Me ( Jesus ), let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. - Jesus is my example and what better way to give people Jesus than to serve with joy no matter what: so today i chose to serve with (J)JOY -(E) ETERNALLY MINDED - (S)SELFLESS - (U)UNSWERVING - (S)AND WITH SENSITIVITY -..........if serving leaves you joyless even when it's hard than you are probly not serving where our Lord would have you - do not act out of a sense of duty - it's ok to be exhausted after your serving but it should bring you joy and a sense of fullfullment - this was all very thought provoking for me this morning and sitting with these thoughts and allowing our Lord to expose my heart to me both encouraging and discouraging. - ......this just came to mind - that maybe when there is no joy in the serving it's because maybe we have not surrendered to the service - we still want to hold on to self - there's that selfless thing and picture of Matthew 16:24 again. - i wonder why this is all on my heart this morning - Lord what do you have for me today? - the picture above reminds me that everyday my Jesus has me wrapped in a gift box and i need to unwrap it and enjoy all that He has for me in this day - if you need to know that is my "super chica" friend donna and we were making hot air ballons - maybe someday i'll tell you that story.....lol......but today it remeinds me of the gift that today is and that i get to live out Matthew 16:24 with Joy ........

recovering from the VBS hangover

so it's been awhile since i've posted.....i like to call it the vbs hangover...... actually vbs was absolutely amazing....the Lord did so many awesome things: the kids - the workers - and 100% within me - .....i feel as if He really began a real taring down of me ( my flesh ) so that I might become more of HIM.... this in never a fun process and usually is meet with kicking and screaming....but this time there is something different happening within my heart and as difficult as this work is I am already thankful - so I say " thank you Jesus for loving me so much that you desire more of me" - it's that 'faithful in little / faithful in much ' principal. here's my take on that. yes there are some that God is requiring more of in service - they may hold down a position in ministry and our Lord requires more from them right were they are at - but than i started thinking - ' Jesus i have no more time to give at church - my time serving is much already ( of course i am abundantly blessed to have the honor of serving so much ) but i just do not see how i have anymore hours in my life to be at church serving - than it happened that still small voice of our Creator pouring His wisdom upon me - for some of us the "much" is more time privately with Jesus ( worshipping / studing His Word / prayer ) that is where the deeper harder work happens the digging down deeper into the hidden sins of our lives- the place where He takes a clay pot and turns it into porcelin. - so here i am making the decision to allow my Lord, the one who has my best interest at heart, the one who loves me more than anyone else loves me, the one who has a beautiful plan for me even more beautiful than the one i have been currently living, this Jesus who has invaded my life and redeemed and restored a broken useless piece of pottery - He is requiring more of me. so today i am saying that i am surrendered to this process - honestly knowing that daily i will want to take it back - daily beggin Jesus no - but this is i know He has never let me down - never never never!!!!! Faithful and true is MY GOD!!!
i suppose the more is also - at home tending my home - husband and son - i know that He will open my eyes to this if this is a part of the 'more'.

well i am off to a birthday party - looking forward to tomorrow when my husband comes home from washington - this was a hard tome for me with him gone - my mind was all over the place with worry - Jesus please bring him home to me safe and without compromise.

off to watch a lot of little screaming kids jump in jumpers - i bet you wish you could come ;0)

live your day seeking our Lord

It's VBS DAY!

it's here it's really here.....all the long hard hours will finally be sifted out what was done for God and what was done for man ( me) woman. this is the hard reality ...i just pray that i served my Lord well and that my efforts have really been done with pure motives.........

Matthew 7:11 How much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask them.

in the words of oswald chambers this is Jesus laying down rules of conduct for those of us who live by His Spirit. - we are to remember by this that God is in control of everything - perfect rust in MY LORD.
this is such a great remeinder for me today as I am overly exhausted and in need of motrin alot of motrin....asking God for everything about my day today will keep me in that mind set that He is soveriegn and I recognize and praise Him because of it. - He already kows all about it so I pray that I will stay in focus to this today.........

also a shout out to my sweet sweet friend - heidi - i love you girl - my life is far better with you in it. - of course it's all about me ;0) being blessed and happy - but seriously friend you have bought so much JOY!!!! to my life - xoxoxoxoxo

Lord let this day of VBS be used completely by you......allow the worship i am so blessed to do be honoring to you and let these little ones ( even the adults) worship in spirit and in truth!!!!

in the words of Rob Biagi - " do you know do you know whose you are?"
I'M GOD'S KID AND I WAS CREATED TO GLORIFY GOD!!!!!

LIVE A GREAT DAY OF PRAISE AND JOY!!!!!!

Saturday before VBS

this morning I read this quote - "my vision of God depends upon the state of my character"
this is an awesome measuring tool to see who I am in Christ.

I have been letting Satan win with my heart these past couple of weeks what seems like a small area of frustration and an o I'll deal with it later attitude - well reading that quote and meditating on it and allowing the Holy Spirit to convict where He deems necessary - I see that my fear of God has been set aside - Lord forgive me! - it's crazy how we can convince ourselves that we're ok - well maybe we are just ok but MY Lord wants better than ok. - today I chose to let go of this crazy frustration that I have been allowing to control my emotions at home - you know Satan camps out in our homes - he pulls up his lawn chair cracks open a bottle of whiskey lights up his stoggi and just waits for that opportunity to slip his slimy stinky foot in some crack - you know just weeds in the sidewalk- he is so faithful to his cause - however I serve a God who is even abundantly more faithful to His cause and today I just cut that foot off and through God's Holy Spirit power, the power that created the universe, the power that parted the Red Sea, the power that conquered death on the cross, that same power i have living in me and we cut that foot off and booted the "slime monster" out!
the Bible says in James 4:7 Submit therefore to God, Resist the devil and He will flee.
this is what I believe this means - often we have to resist the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN until there is nothing in our actions or attitudes that give Satan glory - until this happens then and only then will he flee - you see if he even wins for 1 min. with us having a bad attitude that is considered success to him and he'll take what ever we are willing to give him - you see he know that I belong to Jesus and I love Jesus - he knows that his future is eternal damnation and mine is eternal glory with Jesus - but he relishes in any moment that we take our eyes off God. - so until the temptation doesn't give him anything we have completely resisted him then he will flee.

LIVE A GREAT DAY OF FAITHFULNESS !

A brief start up

Okay So I do not know what I was thinkin' startin' this when I am crazy busy and really have only a few min. at least it's done now I can jump on and share when ever I get the chance. today was spent primarily getting ready for VBS next week. Worship practice - gosh I'm excited about worship this year - we have so many awesome songs that the kids are gonna love - it's been so much work but it's ssssssoooooo worth it. I pray that the kids and adults get it - that they really start to get what it means to worship our Lord. This year I am teaching the kids about indivdual worship - Jesus please let them get it. - I have so many hang ups worshipping in big Church and that's my own inhibitions however I pray that if I can teach the kids freedom in worship now that when they are older it just comes with ease - complete surrender - no hang ups. - if only worship was as easy in big Church for me as it is with what I do with the kids. -
as i was exhausted today I just had to remind myself that very few get to see the great works of Jesus - it's like the story of the miracle in Cana - the ones that got the greatest blessing were the servants, the ones who were privey to what Jesus had done. - Thank you Jesus for letting me be privey to what you are doing - I love you Lord!!!!