"BUT GOD"

Our Lord Jesus is so amazing. I want to share my story with you in what He has done.
I have been dealing with a pretty painful abdomen issue for a year now. Well, about 2-3 month ago it began to get worse. I had what felt like this growth that extended from my right rib cage. I had other people feel it as to not think I was going entirely crazy. They all confirmed yes they too had felt it. Anyway, when Bobby continued to see me go downhill he told me to get back to the Dr’s. They ran blood test and an ultra sound. And yes my Dr even confirmed she had felt the same mass as I had and it was not normal. She thought it was my liver that might be enlarged. Fast forward to getting my results, everything is perfectly healthy. One would think I was a health freak that worked out everyday, when you look at my blood work. The problem, I continued to get worse. My mobility was very limited and the pain so bad I was constantly getting sick. The Purity Conference http://www.purepassion08.com/ was quickly approaching and I knew I was going to be there pretty much around the clock for 3 days. Come this past Friday, day one of Purity, I was very bad. I sent out a prayer request and begged for prayer. Should I go to the ER or should I go to Church and do what I was committed to do? That was the question. Now some might think the answer is easy (ER) but I had no peace. For the first time in years I had no peace and I was even more afraid of that. I believe where no peace is, God is not in it. So now my heart was breaking. I went to the shower and cried my eyes out to God asking for forgiveness that I wasn’t trusting or seeing Him in any of this and begging Him to show me the urgent for the day: Purity Conference or ER? When I had cried all I could cry and prayed all I could pray I turned off the shower and my phone was ringing. It was Steph Finn and there was an issue at church that really I needed to be the one to deal with it. God had showed me His urgent. Now, I figured I’d get to church and I would begin to feel better. No, I got to church and got worse. Knowing I was doing what God required of me, I pushed through (maybe my word ENDURE had something to do with it). I tried really hard to pull off to MOST people that everything was fine. Not sure how well I did on that but anyway around midnight I was sitting down and I told Bobby that I was going to go to the ER. With just his sweet loving way he looked at me and said, “No I don’t think you should go, just wait until your Dr gets back on Monday”. Now my first reaction in my head was ‘he doesn’t even care’. Then I (by the Lord) was reminded of my 30-day Husband challenge and that the one thing I have always struggled with in my marriage is submission. Not in the way that most struggle. You see Bobby requires so very little of me that I always feel like of course I’ve got this submission thing down but wisdom tells me that I just don’t understand it on that level. It’s hard to know what submission looks like when the person is someone like my wonderful husband.
BINGO!!!!! Got it Lord, was my second thought. In submitting to what he was telling me to do not only with my actions but in my heart, I was then right with God. Honestly, I tell you that as soon as I had that thought I had this peace pour over me like a washing of the Holy Spirit. I could actually feel it from head to toe. My heart was so full of joy and peace. Later that night or I should say morning when we got home from day 1 of the conference and I climbed into bed (actually the couch – for fear that Bobby might touch my very hurting body, I slept for 1 ½ hours and when I got up, yes tired but I realized my pain was going away. All day Saturday my pain slowly went away. 19 hours on my feet working on Saturday and yes my feet hurt like a dickens, cause apparently dickens hurts (where does that come from? Maybe I don’t want to know ;0) ) but my pain in my abdomen was 70% gone. So now here it is Monday and the only pain I feel is if I push real hard on one part.
Of course if my Dr. pursues this I will, but I know spiritual warfare was HUGE and I have learned much wisdom and knowledge. I thank my Jesus with tears in my eyes that He considered me worthy enough to go throough this. I guess I’m finally growing up.
Praise the Lord Jesus!!!!